Re: What is love?
EVen if you aren't the one, he'd never tell you. Men would rather cut off an arm than look you in the face and honestly say "I'm just not feeling it anymore, you're not the one." He'd be quite content to carry on like this indefinitely until the right woman comes along and then one day he just up and splits, or he'll stay with you forever and cheat or periodically treat you with disrespect, or until you get frustrated and leave. He knows you're frustrated. He knows you're unhappy. He knows losing you is a possibility right now. He just doesn't care. You getting sick and tired and packing up and leaving might even be what he's hoping for, so he won't have to dump you and be the bad guy.
I don't think it matters why he's acting the way he's acting. The only question you have to ask yourself is, is this what you imagined when you were dreaming about being in love? Is this how you want your romantic life, your relationship, to go? I don't know if talking will help that much. Men don't really respond to talking. In fact, studies show that men's brains respond to a woman's speaking voice the exact same way they respond to musak. They tune it out. Men respond better to actions. Maybe if you packed up and spend a couple of nights with your parents, or a friend, or at a hotel and said "I can't stand the not talking and not communicating. I know there's something wrong, and you don't want to tell me what it is. I'm taking a breather, and hopefully when I get back we can discuss it like adults." If you make it clear to him he will lose you if he doesn't get with the program, and then he doesn't get with the program, then you know he doesn't care if he loses you, or is even hoping to lose you.
I dated someone who would pull this. Was the sweetest, kindest, most wonderful boyfriend in the world one minute, baking me brownies and giving me foot massages, then he'd turn sullen, didn't want to talk, wouldn't kiss me, "needed space," blah blah blah. I wasted so much time and energy trying to figure it out. Maybe he's depressed about his money situation. Maybe he's getting pressure from his friends or family. Maybe he's having doubts because of this or that topic, and we need to talk it out to find a good compromise we were both happy with. The truth was way more simple than any of that. He just wasn't that into me. He never really loved me. He just wanted to be for a minute. Men aren't anywhere near as complicated as we want to think they are.
Last edited by Larrylou'smom; 09-04-2010 at 11:26 AM.