Can't make Hubby stop cussing! - Relationship Health Message Board

donnamay · 08-12-2002, 02:29 PM

I've been with him for 10 years & it just gets worse & more vulgar by the day! I have begged him to at least stop doing it in my pressence but then he only does it more to tick me off. If I hear the (F) word one more time I'm gonna explode. It's so unneccessary.

DawnP · 08-12-2002, 05:58 PM

Hi Donnamay,

In a healthy marriage couples try and regard each other's feelings. They work together towards both parties being happy. I am curious...Is this how he responds when you tell other things that he might have done that bother you? I mean, does he do more of those things just to bother you?

It is imortant to let him know why his swearing bothers you. Perhaps he feels controlled. Is it just a bad habit? I do think he should try to change it - even just in front of you if he cares about you and your feelings.

The best to you!

Dawn

AshleeD · 08-12-2002, 10:16 PM

I don't think cussing is that bad unless it is directed at YOU or towards someone you care about/know, etc. Sorry if this offends you, I don't mean it to, but some people were raised cussing, and were allowed to cuss (not saying this is the case of your husband). It can be pretty hard to stop cussing sometimes. I think when the F word is used sexually, it can be quite rude and inconsiderate...but when it is used...for example...like this: "This ******* T.V. won't work!" is not as nasty as "I just want to ****" or "**** you"...see the difference? If it bothers you, however, you should tell him and seriously talk to him about it and make sure he understands that you DO NOT like it. I guess cussing and whether you think it's OK or unnecessary has a lot to do with how you were raised and in what type of environment (btw, I don't mean a bad one, just an environment where you were around people who cussed quite often). Hope this helps and I'm praying I didn't offend you

That'd be bad

Take care, hun. And let him know you want to put an end to this since it DOES bother you.

*Ash*

Troublesome Trio #1

nicola76 · 08-14-2002, 03:33 AM

Hi Donnamay,

I know exactly where you're coming from. My future sis-in-law has the most vulgar mouth I have ever heard. I don't know where she got it from because nobody else in the family (including my fiance) swears. Every other word out of her mouth in "f*ck" or "c*unt". The fact that she's a mother of two somehow makes it even nastier (she uses this language in front of the kids).

Here's a suggestion that may seem a bit silly but has actually worked for some people. Have heard of a swear jar? Get a big ole jar and make your hubby put in a dollar everytime he swears. I actually got this idea reading "Dear Abby" several years ago. Its suppose to work. *fingers crossed*

The other thing I can think of to do is just completely ignore him. Like, if he's talking to you or asking you something and filling the statement with swear words just ignore him. Then when he asks why you're ignoring him just say, "I'll respond to you when you speak a little nicer to me." Maybe that will inspire him to clean up his language a bit.

Well I hoped this helped a little. Take care and good luck!

Nic

drs · 08-15-2002, 09:29 AM

Tell him swear words are for people that can't think of more intelligent words to use....or like nic says ignore him. People hate to be ignored. I've heard of the swear jar, but it was a quarter that I heard about not a dollar. ******* or frick is whats used alot around here...it's much nicer to the ears...I hate the F word too. But I can tolerate frick. LOL.

Challenge your man to see if he can keep from putting a quarter in the jar....guys prefer a challenge to and order...they just want to challenge the order to stop. You see?

The poster that said he should be more considerate is right, he should, but if he's not...you'll need to find other avenues that will work for you.

Is he a good guy otherwise, or are there lots of diff. problems besides this with you two? Diana