Is this guy worth it - Relationship Health Message Board

nadine · 08-23-2002, 11:19 PM

Hi,

Just need some advice. I went out with this guy with whom I had been friends with during my undergrad. We met up a few years later and decided to go out. Well we met and we saw a movie. After that he asked if I wanted to sit in his car for a while. I said okay. He started making moves on me. I said no- lets talk. He replied with so when are you getting married? Im like I don't know. He said that he thinks that I should get mom and dad to find someone for me that is rich and can take care of me and get married as soon as possible. He always thought of me as a goody to shoes..so thats why he may have been saying that. I asked hime when he was going to get married, he said not for another 5 years that he wants to live the single life for right now and enjoy and later settle down with the right girl and have babies and all that stuff. We are both 29 years old. Should I just forget this guy or is there still hope or is it just nothing what happened. Oh, then he said he had to go home then and we left each other.

star508 · 08-24-2002, 11:31 AM

I guess it depends on what kind of friendship you guys had. If you were good friends and joked around with each other and you knew it was jokes even when it could've been taken seriously, then I say give him a chance. I have friends who might say things like that to me once in a while, but I know it's in good fun and all. If that's not the way you guys were, then you probably don't wanna go out with him. The way you described it, it sounds like he wants you to get married and then have you on the side still. Like you'll be married but still "friends with benefits" with him.

mydog8mybrain · 08-24-2002, 12:14 PM

Get rid of him. Sounds like he wants the single life and all the fun and will grudgingly accept the married life when he has to. If you are looking to settle down then look for a guy who thinks the highest and greatest goal for a man is to be a good husband and father. Keep looking.
BH

nadine · 08-24-2002, 01:05 PM

Hi BH,

Its nice to get a male perspective. If you are a guy, if not, I apologize. Actually he said "so when are you going to get married and I think you should get married soon" right after I denied his moves he was putting on me (going in my shirt) and said instead lets talk . I don't know- maybe he as a guy felt rejected when I said that. Or the other possibility is he thought that this girl is not into playing around so she might as well get married as soon as she can. If that is the case should I still have some hope or forget about it?

mydog8mybrain · 08-25-2002, 06:08 PM

Nadine - Thanks for the reply. My only concern is that his first intention on your date was only to get laid. Granted, after you denied his moves he cooled off a bit and said "lets talk". Any guy who wants to define his first date with a girl with sex is usually the kind of guy you want to be real careful around.

Another thing. What's with the "you need to get married soon" deal? I mean, what does he know? Just sounds kind of like a strange comment to make to a lady on the first date.

Good luck

------------------
Be nice to your kids.... They will choose your nursing home.