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Old 08-23-2002, 11:19 PM   #1
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Post Is this guy worth it

Hi,

Just need some advice. I went out with this guy with whom I had been friends with during my undergrad. We met up a few years later and decided to go out. Well we met and we saw a movie. After that he asked if I wanted to sit in his car for a while. I said okay. He started making moves on me. I said no- lets talk. He replied with so when are you getting married? Im like I don't know. He said that he thinks that I should get mom and dad to find someone for me that is rich and can take care of me and get married as soon as possible. He always thought of me as a goody to shoes..so thats why he may have been saying that. I asked hime when he was going to get married, he said not for another 5 years that he wants to live the single life for right now and enjoy and later settle down with the right girl and have babies and all that stuff. We are both 29 years old. Should I just forget this guy or is there still hope or is it just nothing what happened. Oh, then he said he had to go home then and we left each other.

 
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Old 08-24-2002, 11:31 AM   #2
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I guess it depends on what kind of friendship you guys had. If you were good friends and joked around with each other and you knew it was jokes even when it could've been taken seriously, then I say give him a chance. I have friends who might say things like that to me once in a while, but I know it's in good fun and all. If that's not the way you guys were, then you probably don't wanna go out with him. The way you described it, it sounds like he wants you to get married and then have you on the side still. Like you'll be married but still "friends with benefits" with him.


 
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Old 08-24-2002, 12:14 PM   #3
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Get rid of him. Sounds like he wants the single life and all the fun and will grudgingly accept the married life when he has to. If you are looking to settle down then look for a guy who thinks the highest and greatest goal for a man is to be a good husband and father. Keep looking.
BH

 
Old 08-24-2002, 01:05 PM   #4
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Hi BH,

Its nice to get a male perspective. If you are a guy, if not, I apologize. Actually he said "so when are you going to get married and I think you should get married soon" right after I denied his moves he was putting on me (going in my shirt) and said instead lets talk . I don't know- maybe he as a guy felt rejected when I said that. Or the other possibility is he thought that this girl is not into playing around so she might as well get married as soon as she can. If that is the case should I still have some hope or forget about it?

 
Old 08-25-2002, 06:08 PM   #5
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Nadine - Thanks for the reply. My only concern is that his first intention on your date was only to get laid. Granted, after you denied his moves he cooled off a bit and said "lets talk". Any guy who wants to define his first date with a girl with sex is usually the kind of guy you want to be real careful around.

Another thing. What's with the "you need to get married soon" deal? I mean, what does he know? Just sounds kind of like a strange comment to make to a lady on the first date.

Good luck

------------------
Be nice to your kids.... They will choose your nursing home.

 
Old 08-25-2002, 07:02 PM   #6
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Hi Bh,

Actually I was the one who said "lets talk"... I guess that doesn't make it any better.

[This message has been edited by nadine (edited 08-25-2002).]

 
Old 08-30-2002, 04:09 PM   #7
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Seems to me like one person posted the only thing he was tryin to do was get laid. That is uncalled for to be all groping you when you do not show the same interest at that time, those sorts of things have to have a mutual feeling. So get rid of him because if he is acting this way at 29 looks like he is NEVER going to grow up...He is not the only Guy out there, LADY.
Dont sweat him he's a jerk....

 
Old 07-02-2004, 11:20 PM   #8
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Re: Is this guy worth it

Hey Nadine,
I am not going to knock the guy down. He took a shot and you fired back and shot him down. You can't blame a guy for trying. He did respected your request after you told him "let's talk". Give him credit for that. I don't think he did anytihing wrong. You two just have different values and may not be compatible with each other. Furthermore, I wouldn't put any value, good or bad into this for it being your first date. Just don't get your hopes up with him. Maybe in 5 years from now, but not today.

 
Old 07-03-2004, 12:31 AM   #9
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Re: Is this guy worth it

Maybe it's just me, but I'd be terribly offended if I were on a date with a guy, we sat in his car, he started putting his hands on me, and I told him wait, no, let's talk, and then he started telling me how I should get married right away and how I should get mommy and daddy to find me a rich husband and get married off right away, but he's going to enjoy the single life. It sounds to me like he was put off by you not wanting to get physical, so he was sort of digging at you by saying "oh, you're such a goodie goodie, you don't want to fool around with me, you should just get mommy and daddy to marry you off now, since you're not interested in having fun and enjoy being single."
Of course, I could be wrong. Without actually hearing his tone of voice, inflection, body language, facial expressions, etc., it's hard to guess at what he was really thinking when he was saying this, but I would move on. In any event, he's made it totally clear he's not looking for something serious. You sound like a nice girl who doesn't sleep around just for the fun of it. Stick to your guns and your values. When a guy tells you he's not interested in love or being serious with you, listen to him and believe him.

 
Old 07-03-2004, 05:03 AM   #10
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Re: Is this guy worth it

When you asked him about marriage he said not for another 5 years that he wants to live the single life for right now. If that is the mindset of a person you could have a relationship with, you might consider him. Otherwise, why do you need to make it complex. You either like what he said and did or you don't. Don't play games with yourself over it. Take it at face value and decide if he represents what you are looking for. Many people have such a difficult time accepting as reality that the old saying "what you see is what you get" is exactly the way it goes.

 
Old 07-03-2004, 08:55 AM   #11
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Re: Is this guy worth it

.... I have t laugh because this post is almost 2 years old. I think she might have resolved it by now.

 
Old 07-03-2004, 09:26 AM   #12
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Re: Is this guy worth it

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
.... I have t laugh because this post is almost 2 years old. I think she might have resolved it by now.
I know! That's what I was thinking too--who was able to dig it out from two years ago? How strange. Is Nadine even still on the boards?

 
Old 07-03-2004, 09:54 AM   #13
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KalcareousOoze HB User
Re: Is this guy worth it

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
.... I have t laugh because this post is almost 2 years old. I think she might have resolved it by now.

LOL... LOL LOL
HEY! That was my first post! LOL It's my fault!

Am I suppose to know what I'm doing?!!! LOL

I am actually 3 years ahead of the 5 year projection when the guy is suppose to come to a decision. LOL

I'm so embarrased and humiliated! I will never post again!

 
Old 07-03-2004, 10:02 AM   #14
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Is this guy worth it

Quote:
Originally Posted by KalcareousOoze
LOL... LOL LOL
HEY! That was my first post! LOL It's my fault!

Am I suppose to know what I'm doing?!!! LOL

I am actually 3 years ahead of the 5 year projection when the guy is suppose to come to a decision. LOL

I'm so embarrased and humiliated! I will never post again!
You will keep posting because I say so...lol

Its allright to pull up the archives because I like reading these old post that people have or see if there are any updates.

You have done no wrong and welcome to the boards.

 
Old 07-03-2004, 10:10 AM   #15
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KalcareousOoze HB User
Re: Is this guy worth it

If I can only figure out how I ended up puliing that bonehead move, I will feel a lot better.

OK... You managed to put the fear back in me... I will keep on posting. LOL

 
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