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Old 08-29-2002, 08:59 AM   #1
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Bizzy HB User
Post TOO independent?

Hi,

First of all, I'm 17 years old. I've had about 4 boyfriends, but none of them have been serious. Why? Mainly becuase a)I'm very picky and b)because I seem to be afraid to commit (to anybody except myself). My longest relationship has been 2 weeks long. I find that I feel much, much better NOT dating anybody. It's like, when I'm in a relationship, I'm in a cage--I feel restrained. I don't like that feeling--I like being single. And if a guy tries to get serious with me, I get scared--and break everything off with him.

I don't have a problem with this, now. I'm only 17 and I shouldn't feel the need to be tied down to anybody (relationships at this age really don't need to be serious). But, I fear that this will be a problem for my future relationships. I don't want to be 23, and unable to commit. I'm not sure if this is an age-related thing or not. I have friends who're talking about marrying (ok, I don't agree with that at all, but)their boyfriends, and I can't even stay in a relationship for a month. What can I do about this? Has anybody had (or does anybody have) this problem?

 
Old 08-29-2002, 12:11 PM   #2
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Location: Calgary, Canada
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MelNor HB User
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First of all I want to say "Good for you, you have a right to be picky!"

Don't worry about not being able to committ...your young and have so much time to live and enjoy yourself. Its great to take the time to know yourself and explore your options. Plus some people find once they fulfill their own life with happiness, careers, or whatever you need in life, it makes choosing the right partner easier because they know the direction of their own life first.

Just be upfront with your guy friends and tell them straight up your not into the "steady" relationship thing and then no one has false expectations and no one gets hurt!

It's ok...when your ready and the right guy comes along..you'll feel different...trust me!!!
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Old 08-30-2002, 08:41 PM   #3
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Bizzy HB User
Talking

Thank you--so much. Everybody talks to me like it's a bad thing...I'm assured now that it's not. Everything you said makes perfect sense.

 
Old 08-30-2002, 11:11 PM   #4
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MelNor HB User
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Hi Bizzy...I am glad I was able to help you! You know.. I wish I had of been more like you when I was your age. I hurried into things far too young and then ended up paying the concequences for it still to this day.

Don't let others get on you for your choices...they are your choices...not theirs and you are the one who has to live with them! :-)

Best Wishes!!
Mel
__________________
Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark.
A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

 
Old 08-31-2002, 12:51 AM   #5
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bev52 HB User
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Bizzy,
Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders - hope you keep it there!
((((((((((Bizzy))))))))))

 
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