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Old 08-30-2002, 02:26 PM   #1
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MzRed HB User
Unhappy I don't know what to do.........Pleez HELP

Ok so I am in a relationship with a woman in whom I love dearly and as of Aug,26,02 we have offically been together for 4years now.our relationship has been a WAR from day one, we have I guess I would say 50% good 50% bad times.She has helped me find myself and help me over come disaster in my life she has made me a better person.So for this I love her so much and I still feel as if without her I would return to my disasteres ways because I am just WILD like that.
In the beging of our relationship things were so beautiful and she was so sweet and caring ect.
But lately it seems as if she has become very about HER and it pisses me off so bad.Like for excample it was her 21st Bday and she wanted to go to the casino so I was like ok whatever but we did not go until like 1am and left at 3am not considering the fact that I had to be at work by 7am.I would have been all cool with hangin if she seemed concerned about my well being, but it was just like **** that fact that I had to get up in 3hrs it was HER BDAY!She often does stupid **** like this among many other things.
To make a long story short sorry LOL
Am I being to worried should I just say forget it and do my own thing and then maybe she will see what I feel????Because I do let her know that I feel as if she has become very self centerd, so maybe I should stop feeding into it and do my own thing and blow her to the side.....Sorry this message was so LONG!

 
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Old 08-30-2002, 02:55 PM   #2
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[This message has been edited by dsheldon3 (edited 08-30-2002).]

 
Old 08-30-2002, 03:03 PM   #3
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First of all I am a female and I tell her NO all the time about several diffrent things so that couldn't be it. She didn't have anything to drink so that wasnt it either.I think it is about her just being a self centered *** lately and I can't deal with this much longer something is going to give.... I dunno what to do any longer...

 
Old 08-30-2002, 04:05 PM   #4
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Sorry about that.I can't help you there ,I'm female also but I have never had any kind of relationship with another female (not even with my mother).

 
Old 08-30-2002, 04:45 PM   #5
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I think you should let her know how you felt about what she did... not in a defensive way, but just that you felt bad and felt like she didn't care. It was her 21st birthday..one of the most monumental birthdays so she might have just got caught up in the moment.. but just think positively..she wanted to spend that big day with you.

 
Old 08-30-2002, 05:11 PM   #6
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Hey Sherrie,
Thanks for your responce, as far as that is concerned it's done and over with nothing to do or say because all it will do is start an argument. She is the type of person who thinks just because you try to talk about something that she did that was wrong that she is the bad guy so to speak.So next time now that you mentioned it I notice something instead of getting an attitude like I usually would I will approach it in a STAY POSTIVE type of manner.I can try and if it doesn't work I guess nothing will and I can't stand when people know they were wrong and don't like to admit it.This could be a breaking point as sad as it might be.But I know you need to be on the same level or things will be a constant conflict.

 
Old 08-30-2002, 08:10 PM   #7
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[This message has been edited by mydog8mybrain (edited 08-30-2002).]

 
Old 08-31-2002, 01:00 AM   #8
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MzRed,
Sure sounds like a confusing issue, and lots of conflicting dialogue.
About all I can say is give it one last shot - as far as trying to have a rational discussion. . .if that doesn't work, maybe it would be better if you separated for a while, to see if either of you would come around and try to be civil, and have a serious talk. Sometimes things just don't work out and it would be better to know that now - rather than 5-10 yrs down the road and 2 or 3 kids later.
Best of luck to ya,
lep

 
Old 08-31-2002, 09:30 AM   #9
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It sounds to me like your girlfriend is just that: a "GIRL." You said she was a woman in the first line of your post, but the behavior you mentioned later seems to indicate that she is not very mature. It seems to me that you will have to decide sooner or later whether the good times in the relationship are good enough for you to stick around wait for her to grow up.

 
Old 08-31-2002, 11:39 AM   #10
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You make a good point there Green.....

 
Old 08-31-2002, 11:41 AM   #11
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Ok so I did what I said I was going to do ,last night we were "talking" not bickering and I told her how I felt things were going, I told her I feel like our important dates i.e. Our Anniversary Aug 26,Her B-dayAug.27 ,and my Bday Sept.11 have been put on hold this year.When usually since it is all back to back we do something at once to celebrate it all.Like last year we got a jaccuzi room , put some bubbles in the tub lit some candles and turned off the lights and well it was very romantic needless to say....so this year I felt abandon
Her reply made since though so I stopped feeling like that , she told me since we all are going through a change , because we just moved she starting a new job, I'm going to school,daughter about to start a new school,PLUS my dad is up here stayin with us on Vacation.....I just felt like is was FORGOTTEN that's all....
Then I was a jerk this morning we have our rings
in the store and we have been payin a little here a little there you know. Well she decides she doesnt want her ring anymore , because it costs way more than mine and she could get a better deal elsewhere. So she says we can use the money we have in there to get mine out....Well that has been over a month ago and so the money and my ring are just sitting there. So I have been naggin her about gettin it out and so she just was like you know what I was gonna get it out on your Bday and suprise you with it but you want it now we can get it........ How can I cool down my hot head so I can stop ruining things....

 
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