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Old 09-07-2002, 07:36 AM   #1
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Question help anyone!! I don't know what to do?

I have a boyfriend that I love very much.But since recently I don't want to be his girl anymore,I just want to be his bestfriend and flirt with him still.
My reason for this is that I just want to concentrate on my school work better,and I go to church and often feel guilty even though I don't start having sex with him as yet,because god says you can't serve two masters so I choose god.I want to finish high school first and then have my boyfriend.However, I don't know how to tell him this because he gave up alot for me ,I've made him change from being a player e.t.c and he's gonna be so mad if I tell him this he's gonna think that I found somebody else but I don't want to tell him the truth so I'm making up a lie.What must I do or say. thanks for your help!!

 
Old 09-07-2002, 08:37 AM   #2
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Tell him the truth. If you lie and then he finds out, the friendship is pretty much in shambles (not even talking about a relationship). What's the point of lying? You have your priorities, whether that be god or school, and that's your decision. If he doesn't understand or doesn't like it, that's his problem, not yours.

 
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Old 09-07-2002, 10:45 AM   #3
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You can't go through your whole life basing your actions on what somebody else might think of you. It sounds like you have your priorities straight, and I really congratulate you on that! I wish I had been as smart as you when I was in high school!

And as for him thinking that you have found somebody else, your future activities should set him straight. If he sees you NOT hanging around with someone else immediately after you break up, which I understand to be your plan, won't he figure out that you didn't dump him for someone else? And won't he feel foolish for accusing you of that, if that's what he ends up doing?

Breaking up is never easy. If it were me, I would just tell him the truth (that you feel that God is calling you to concentrate on your education at this point in your life) as gently, kindly and quickly as I could. If he gets mad, tell him that you are sorry that he feels that way, but that you have to do what you think is right. That's all you have to say, and try not to drag your part of the conversation out by telling him how sorry you are for hurting him, and that he's given up so much for you, etc., etc. Just say your piece and let him respond. Just my 2 cents...

 
Old 09-07-2002, 11:55 AM   #4
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Agree with what has been said so far, but it's TOTALLY not fair to him to want to be friends AND flirt with him.

That's too confusing for any man, especially a young man that hasn't learned all the crap of mixed messages that are out there. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dizzy.gif

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

 
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