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Old 08-27-2002, 08:00 PM   #1
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Post listen to HEART or MIND?

I am confused. I am depressed and I am worried. Please help....at least drop me a line, so that makes me feel better.

I met some guy over the internet two years ago. He is my cousin's friend and he lives in Europe. I live in New York. They have been friends since childhood, so my cousin made us meet online. We became friends and I developed a feeling towards him. So did he. He became a person whom I happen to like more than anyone I know in real life. We call each other, we talk and we see over a web camera. We are soooo cool to deal with each other. But I don't trust him. He makes up stories, he tells me things that are impossible to be, a lot others. I trusted him at the beginning, but not anymore. I started to doubt everything he says. My bad, but can't help it.

Now, he says he is dying. He went to a surgery...he told me all the procedures. He said he doesn't have any hope to survive.

I don't know!!! My heart goes out for him. I like him more than anyone. I like him so much. But my mind keeps questioning if he is playing one of his games, so he can get my full attention.

I need help. And I don;t even know where to go for such confusion. Please say anything. Thanx.

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The heart has reasons that reasons don;t understand.
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The heart has reasons that reasons don;t understand.

 
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Old 08-27-2002, 09:15 PM   #2
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ask your cousin

 
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Old 08-28-2002, 03:46 AM   #3
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If you've caught him out before with his lies, its no wonder why you don't believe him about this surgery. The guy sounds like a compulsive liar.

You could ask your cousin about this surgery but bear in mind that this guy may be lying to him as well.

Take care!

Nic

 
Old 08-28-2002, 08:48 AM   #4
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Hi...just wanted to say this...doesn't he already have your full attention?

no offense...just pointing it out. You sound like you adore him and he gets all your attention now as it is.

I can relate to the whole thing about not trusting what he says anymore, now that you know he's a liar. I have that same problem when people lie to me. But from the outside looking in on this surgery thing, either he's got major problems with lying to make all that up..(possible) or he wants to spend all of his last days having your attention because he likes the way you make him feel more than anyone else???

Dunno..just sharing my thoughts on it with you. I know it can drive you crazy not knowing if something is a lie or not.
Good luck, dear one. keep an open mind and heart and you will hear the truth.

 
Old 08-28-2002, 01:37 PM   #5
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Thanks a lot Tina. I am trying to stay strong. I know this will pass and I will laugh at the whole thing....if it is a lie. But if it is not.....I can't even imagine what would happen to me. God knows, ha?

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Old 08-28-2002, 02:21 PM   #6
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Well, if it's a lie then it's a really nasty one and I wouldn't just laugh it off. If he'd lie about something that serious then he's got some real issues and do you really need someone like that in your life?


 
Old 08-28-2002, 05:44 PM   #7
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his name's not Greg is it? LOL! I know a guy who goes online and tells everyone he has bone cancer and is going through chemo, and that he lives with his girlfriend. He still lives with his mom and has never had cancer in his life. He lies to his online friends about EVERYTHING. My fiance's mom and this loser's mom are best friends so we know the truth. I don't know what possesses some people to lie about things like that, but it's not cool. And this Greg guy is 32 years old, not a child.

 
Old 08-28-2002, 08:45 PM   #8
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Vegasgirl...his name is not Greg. And he is somewhere up in Europe. He is also 30 years old. I don't understand the reason of his lies or this nasty stories. Why on earth would you lie? What kinda game would you play on such health issues? WHY? Is there not anything you can talk online? It is so dumb, ha?

The other thing that is surprising me is that he spends his money to call me. Why would he call me in the middle of the night and talk to me? He stays up all night long just to talk to me. Remember that there is a seven hours time gap between us. I don't understand everything. I am just confused with millions of question running in my head.

Hell with the past...and I should move on. If he is telling the truth, God be with him,....if not let the devil make it happen for him. Let God give him the same exact disease...or whatever he said he has, as he wished for it. I feel so bad for saying such a nasty thing....but I am furious right now.

I appreciate your support, all of you sisiters!
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Old 08-30-2002, 06:56 PM   #9
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Some people are just compulsive liars, I don't get it! All I know is I DISTANCE myself from people like that because they're nothing but trouble! He lives in another country anyway, so if I were you, I'd move on. Good luck w/ whatever you do, you sound sweet.

 
Old 08-31-2002, 02:48 AM   #10
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Hi Afrri, and welcome
I knew someone similiar to this guy. He lived in his own world. It seemed that telling lies was so much more fun for him than telling the truth. If he would get caught - he would just continue to lie and the lie was like a snowball, it got bigger and bigger. He didn't seem to care if people questioned the validity or not, he still continued the lies, and he would have some sort of a smirk or smile while continuing this facade,(possibly, for fear that someone would catch him and he would have to pretend that he had been kidding all along - who knows)?
I read an article about research, that scientists have done - trying to find out why some people seem to have no conscience about certain things, such as lying. Their belief was that, possibly, there was a gene missing and thus gave them no conscience about right or wrong. The same was said about young children that would viciously kill animals and have no remorse. It was as if they were just beating a stick with a stone. Their feeling for the animal had no more meaning than that. I am in no way suggesting that this is the case with this guy, but it would cause me to think twice as to whether I wanted to continue ANY kind of relationship with someone with such low standards. . .I don't care how nice they seem in other ways. Also, in the research, it was stated that these people could seem very charming and perfectly normal in most ways, but there was that little 'glitch' in their personality that set them aside from others.
Try to do some soul searching and I believe your heart will tell you what to do. . .add a little common sense to that, and you have a very good mixture.
Thoughts and prayers are with you,
lep

 
Old 09-09-2002, 01:44 PM   #11
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He could be a pathological liar. Trust your mind as that usually knows more than the heart.

 
Old 09-10-2002, 11:31 AM   #12
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listen to your mind... a woman's intuition is an amazing thing.... and unfortunately, we don't listen to it as much as we should.....

from someone who's been there.....

 
Old 09-10-2002, 11:49 AM   #13
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Liars are liars and in most cases I fear there is not much hope of change!

Trust me when I tell you, you do not want to go to bed at night with someone and lye there wondering what was true he told you today and what was a lie!

Of course you usually find out in the long run that he has been lying but then it not only becomes an issue about his lying but also the embarrasment and betrayal your left with. Especially when it happens in public!!

Do youself a favor...if he is telling such serious lies now...ask yourself what would a future together have in store!

Best wishes!
Mel
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