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Old 09-11-2002, 08:55 PM   #1
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starwatcher HB User
Angry ADVISE BROTHER IS DESTROYING FAMILY!

MY FATHER PAST AWAY TWO MONTHS AGO WHO I TRULEY LOVED DEARLY. LIKE ALL FATHERS WE HAD OUR GOOD AND BAD TIMES BUT THE GOOD FAR OUT weighed THE BAD.HE WAS THE ONE I ALWAYS TRIED TO PLEASE.JUST TO MAKE HIM PROUD OF ME.I WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING FOR HIS APPROVAL.BUT CHANGE WHO I WAS (WHICH IS GAY) EVEN THEN HE ACCEPTED ME MY WHOLE FAMILY DID AND I LOVED THEM FOR IT THEY NEVER JUDGED ME, OR ATLEAST TO MY FACE.I HAVE THREE BROTHERS ONE I HAVEN'T SEEN IN YEARS KINDA THE BLACK SHEEP TYPE MOVED AWAY YOUNG HARDLY HERE FROM HIM.HE TRULY WAS A HELL RAISER.BUT HAS SETTLED DOWN ALOT NOW I GUESS.MY OTHER TWO BROTHERS ARE VERY CLOSE TO ME THEY EVEN GET JEALOUS WHEN I SPEND TO MUCH TIME WITH THE OTHER.WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN FAMILIES MY YOUNGEST BROTHER HAS ONE CHILD FROM A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE AND NOW HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND WHO SORRY TO SAY LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE.I HAVE BEEN ACCUSED OF MOTHERING HIM TO MUCH THERE IS NINE YEARS DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US. HE NEVER HAS HELD A JOB LONGER THAN 6 MONTHS HES TWENTY NINE YEARS OLD I KNOW THATS PRETTY SAD BELEIVE IT OR NOT HIS PREVIOUS WIFE HAD ALOT TO DO WITH THAT!!!!!! THATS ANOTHER STORY.ANYWAY NO MATTER WHAT I FEEL THERE ISN'T ANYTHING HE WOULDN'T DO FOR ME ITS NICE TO FINALLY SEE HIM HAPPY AND NOW GET HIS LIFE TOGETHER SO HE CAN SEE HIS CHILD.THE PROBLEM IS THOUGH HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE AS I SAID WHICH MEANS NO HELP.MY OTHER BROTHER HAS FIVE CHILDREN YES I SAID FIVE HE AND HIS WIFE HAVE ALOT OF UPS AND DOWNS IN THEIR MARRIGE ANOTHER LONG STORY. BUT WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN CLOSE THAT WAS ALWAYS THE IMPORTANT PART TO ME I FELT WE COULD ASK THEM FOR ANYTHING AND IT WOULD BE DONE MONEY YOU NAME IT ITS ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT.AND WE WOULD FOR THEM.MY GIRLFRIEND AND MY SISTER-IN-LAW WERE LIKE BESTFRIENDS VERY CLOSE.OF COURSE MY BROTHER HATED THAT HE WANTED IT TO BE IF HE AND HIS WIFE WOULD BE IN A FIGHT HE WOULD BLOW A FIT IF SHE CAME HERE IT WOULD PUT ME IN A BAD SITUATION BUT I NEVER WOULD TURN HER AWAY.I COULDN'T IT WOULD BE LIKE ME THROWING OUT MY OWN SISTER. THEY HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR FIFTEEN YEARS AND THEY HAVE FOUGHT ALEAST TWELVE OF THOSE YEARS WELL WE NOW CAN GET TO MY MOTHER SHES NOT WELL BEEN SICK MOST OF HER LIFE I KNOW ATLEAST MOST OF MINE.MY FATHER HAD ALOT OT DEAL WITH DOCTORS HOSPITALS YOU NAME IT TO MAKE ALONG STORY SHORTER SHE CANNOT LIVE BY HERSELF.SINCE MY DAD PASSED AWAY SHES BEEN IN THE HOSP. MOST OF THE TIME SICK.MY BROTHER THATS STILL LIVES HERE WAS MAD BECAUSE SHE IS SELLING HER HOUSE WHICH IS VERY FAR FROM ANY OF US IT TAKES ME FORTY-FIVE MIN. TO GET TO HER HOME AND THATS SPEEDING. FOR HIM ITS ALITTLE LESS NOT MUCH.HE SAID SHE COULD STAY THERE NO REASON WHY SHE COULDN'T FIRST OFF MY BROTHER HARDLY EVER WENT AROUND THEM AT THE LAST AND HE SAID IF MOM COULDN'T TAKE CARE OF HERSELF TO PUT HER IN A NURSING HOME.NOWAY WAS I DOING THAT SHES ONLY 58 IF SHE WAS 80 I STILL WOULDN'T MY MOM HAS TOLD ME FROM THE BEGINING THAT IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENED TO DAD THAT SHE WANTED TO MOVE IN OUR BACK YARD WITH A MOBILE HOME MY FATHER KNEW THIS TOO. THATS WHAT HE WANTED ASWELL MY DAD HAD A BAD HEART IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY MYSELF AND BROTHERS ALL HAVE HEART DISEASE.WHAT LUCK HUH ANYWAY I THOUGHT MY BROTHER WOULD WANT THIS TOO CONSIDERING HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO CALL HER LET A LONE GO SEE HER BOY WAS I WRONG MY MOTHER SAID HE TRIED TO TURN HER AWAY FROM ME SAYING I WOULD STEAL ALL HER MONEY AND POSSESSIONS I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE WHEN I HEARD THIS HE ALMOST GOT ME TO THE POINT WHERE ME AND MY MOM WERE NOT TALKING HE WOULD CALL HER(THIS WAS RIGHT AFTER MY DAD PASSED AWAY)AND TALK BAD ABOUT ME TO MOM AND THEN CALL ME AND TELL ME MOM WAS DOGING ME TO HIM SHE WOULD CALL AND TELL ME TO DO THINGS I WOULD DO THEM HE WOULD CALL AND ASK WHY I DID IT AND SAY MOM DIDN'T WANT ME TOO.!!!TRUST ME I WAS REALLY CONFUSED MEAN WHILE ACTING LIKE HE WAS GLAD I WAS HELPING OUT. THE REAL KICKER WAS WHEN HE KNEW SHE WAS PUTTING A MOBILE HOME IN OUR BACK YARD MAN DID HE GET MAD TRUST ME THIS HOME IS BEAUTIFUL NOT LIKE ANY TRAILOR I'VE EVER SEEN HE SAID IT WAS STUPID AND SHE WOULD NEVER GET THE MONEY BACK WHY DOES SHE NEED IT BACK I KINDA FILL HE WAS ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF. UNTIL MY FATHER DIED MY BROTHER AN I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN CLOSE NOW HES TELLING MY MOM IF SHE GOES THRU WITH THIS HE WILL NEVER BRING HIS CHILDREN AROUND HER OR US HES THREW WITH THE FAMILY I HAVE TRIED TO FIGURE OUT WHATS HIS PROBLEM IS DEEP DOWN I THINK I KNOW I JUST HATE TO SAY IT. SINCE DAD HAS LEFT US MY GIRLFRIEND AND MY CHILD ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO HAVE MOVED HER BELONGINGS NOBODY IN THE FAMILY HAS HELPED PACK A THING OUR YARD IS BIG. PLENTY OF ROOM I WILL NOT CHARGE MY MOM A THING TO LIVE ON MY LAND I JUST WANT TO KEEP HER SAVE AND CLOSE SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVISE I WANT TO TALK TO HIM BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO BE A YELLING MATCH.THE STRESS IS KILLING ME.ALL MY MOM TALKS ABOUT IS WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS WHEN WILL SHE GET TO SEE HER GRANDCHILDREN ITS NOT FAIR SHES COME CLOSE TO DEATH TWICE SINCE DAD DIED FROM INFECTION SHE HAS TO BE FEAD WITH TBN THATS VIT.AND FOOD IN A BAG THAT WE HOOK HER UP TO AT NIGHT THANK GOD FOR A WONDERFUL GIRLFRIEND AND CHILD MY SON IS 11 AND HE LOVES HAVING HIS GRANDMOTHER AROUND.

[This message has been edited by starwatcher (edited 09-18-2002).]

 
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Old 09-11-2002, 09:14 PM   #2
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 808
Jaytor HB User
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If your brother is worried about his share of an inheritance from your mother, ask your mother to make a Will and to let everyone in the family know what she wants to leave to each of them. This way you won't be accused of caring for her just to get your hands on her estate.

Anyone with children should have a Will, regardless of their age. [You too, especially since your child is a minor.]

 
Old 09-16-2002, 03:32 PM   #3
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Location: Little Rock, AR
Posts: 280
mydog8mybrain HB User
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ummmmmmm.... Sounds like your brother is worried about getting paid. I guess he thinks that her money belongs to him. Sounds like he is using his kids as a weapon in the battle.
Just curious here...... Is your brother a drinker? Any drug history? Taking any antidepressants?
Bruce

------------------
Those who dispense tough love to their children now should be prepared to receive same back from them in 30 years.

 
Old 09-17-2002, 09:40 PM   #4
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starwatcher HB User
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No believe it or not he hardly ever drinks.But he loves to be in control.I always felt that he always thought mom an dad would take his advise over any of ours.He finally took his kids to see my mom yesterday she has been in the hosiptal three weeks she said he barely spoke two words to her.She still is not doing well I don't see how he could do this to her.He says hes not mad about her moving in our back yard but for the first time ever he and I are not speaking!Thank you for the reply I wish things could be better oh wait a minute he does take zanac(spelling)

[This message has been edited by starwatcher (edited 09-18-2002).]

 
Old 09-18-2002, 05:19 AM   #5
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Location: Little Rock, AR
Posts: 280
mydog8mybrain HB User
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OK - If they are drinking or taking mind altering drugs then it can be difficult as you have to deal with the person and the chemical together. Good luck to you.

------------------
Those who dispense tough love to their children now should be prepared to receive same back from them in 30 years.

 
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