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Old 09-14-2002, 07:26 PM   #1
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Post question about tongue wring help me please!!

My boyfriend tongue is bored he think it's cute but for me it's a big turn off. He's nice and everything to me i don't have any problem with him except for that. I hardly kiss him because of it i just hate seeing it.all the time he promise to take it out he don't I'm considering to leave him for it i just can't stand to see it ,it sicks my stomach.I'm wondering if it's stupid to leave him for that? because i want to sometimes. thanx

 
Old 09-16-2002, 12:43 PM   #2
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Life is too short to spend a whole lot of time with someone who does something that drives you crazy and thinks it's a joke. Do you have children with this guy? If not, move on! It sounds like he's really into his tongue stud, and you're not, so why try to force things? Let him find someone who's into piercings, and you move on and find someone who's a little more conventional. Good luck!

 
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Old 09-16-2002, 09:05 PM   #3
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thank you. I'm 16 and he is 19.but everytime he says he is going to take it out and he don't.i think maybe it's best for him to get someone who loves him for what he does. he is considering getting a tattoo too, but as soon as he does that i'm leaving him. i told him already too but he thinks i'm joking,he thinks it's stupid to leave someone for that but i don't.I don't know what to do?

 
Old 09-17-2002, 04:59 AM   #4
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If tattoos and piercings are not your thing, then it is not stupid at all to break up over that. I personally think that tattoos and piercings indicate an "exhibitionist" type personality, meaning that someone just wants attention from the general public, and that is usually a sign of real immaturity. Most people who get piercings and tattoos really regret it when the time comes to get a real job and enter the real world. Most people would never hire someone who looks like a freak to represent their company to the public. He'll find out eventually, and in the meantime, if you don't think it's fun, don't put up with it. He don't sound like a very serious person.

 
Old 09-17-2002, 07:58 AM   #5
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Greenberry,I have to disagree about what you said about tattoos and piercings. I have had my tongue and navel done. I also have eight tattoos all of which you cant see unless I wear like a bathing suit. I have had two jobs working with the public and my bosses didnt know I had my tongue done and they did know of my tattoos. My hubby has 7 tats also. I can say for myself and several others I know who have tats we didnt get them to attract attention that is for sure. Granted there are people who do it that way or because it is popular but there are those of us who do it because we see it as another form of self expression. Of the tattooed people I know not one of them regret it. It is generalizing to say that most regert getting tattooed or pierced. I have only met one person who regreted getting tattooed and that way because she didnt like the tattoo her then current partner helped her pick. And trust me I have met many,many people over the past 10 years thanks to the being a military spouse and tats do tend to come up in conversations.

Anyway I do have to agree if you arent happy with a person who is into tats and piercings then you need to move on to someone who you can be with happily. I had one guy I was with when I started getting tattooed and he wasnt happy with what I was doing. Well he moved on and then I met hubby....and well we have been happy together for eight years now.
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Old 09-23-2002, 04:44 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by Greenberry:
If tattoos and piercings are not your thing, then it is not stupid at all to break up over that. I personally think that tattoos and piercings indicate an "exhibitionist" type personality, meaning that someone just wants attention from the general public, and that is usually a sign of real immaturity. Most people who get piercings and tattoos really regret it when the time comes to get a real job and enter the real world. Most people would never hire someone who looks like a freak to represent their company to the public. He'll find out eventually, and in the meantime, if you don't think it's fun, don't put up with it. He don't sound like a very serious person.
Hey, thanks! I've got tattoos and piercings AND a real job. Don't judge people based on things you don't understand.

 
Old 09-23-2002, 05:22 PM   #7
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Hooray for you!

 
Old 09-23-2002, 07:02 PM   #8
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You know it is kind of funny you saying that Greenberry. I have posted to this and now I am here again.
Do you know that the people that protect you such as firemen,policemen,and yes the MILITARY are mostly tattooed or pierced themselves. Yet you say this one young man is not a serious person becuase he is into this lifestyle....humm makes you wonder how you feel about the people like firemen and the others I listed. I figure they have to be the most serious people around yet a majority are tattooed or pierced(if not both).
I am also a stay at home mom to two boys and I have now 8 tats myself. My hubby is military and he has 7 tats and we both plan on more. Yeah I may not always be a serious person but what stay at home mom is...lol
It truly isnt wise to judge based on what people decide to do to their bodies.
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Old 09-23-2002, 07:22 PM   #9
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I, like most of the rest of humanity, judge people based on the appearance that they choose to present to the world. If they have metal through their lips, tongues or eyebrows, or big tattoos peeking out from under their shirts, that tells me a whole lot about them. If you or anyone else wants to get piercings and tattoos, that is totally your business. But it is my right to think whatever I want about anyone. Why did you choose to get tattoos/piercings anyway?

And one more thing, I said that this young man doesn't sound like a very serious person because he keeps telling his girlfriend that he is going to remove the ring, and then doesn't, and because he seems to not really address what she communicates to him. Game playing like that indicates immaturity and a general lack of "seriousness" (for a lack of a better word.)

[This message has been edited by Greenberry (edited 09-23-2002).]

[This message has been edited by Greenberry (edited 09-23-2002).]

 
Old 09-23-2002, 09:16 PM   #10
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Well being an artist I found this was one beautiful way of self expression. Besides using paper and other regular tools of artists for expressing myself I found my body to be another media in which to use.
I also fell in love with tattoos when I was nine yrs old...I was 19 when I got my first,so it took me ten years to decide that it was for me.
I have to laugh at you saying people judge on appearances. Granted it is true that some do that but not all. I have never had anyone look down or treat me differently because of my tats or piercings.

I am curious what you think tats or piercings say about a person... Yeah I know you said it shows immaturity and that they are searching for attention. But honestly set that aside and let me know what you ASSUME about people who are into tats and piercings?
What would you say about a 75 your old great-grandma who just got her first tattoo? I know lady who did that and she wasnt doing it for attention. Like I said most who get tats and piercings arent doing it for attention or an immaturity thing,they are doing it as self expression. Just like a person gets a hair style or suit or shoes. Those are used for self expression,a less permanent form but nontheless a form of expression. Tattoos are just a permanent way and piercings can be less permanent at times.
Just trying to let it be known that it is just a small part that does it for attention or as immature thinking. And that it is truly surprising how few people actually judge a person just because they have tattoos and piercings.
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Old 09-24-2002, 05:28 AM   #11
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What is the difference between doing it for self-expression and for attention? They sound like two sides of the same coin. Are you not interesting and original enough to stand out on your own?

Why shouldn't I draw inferences based on what people are advertising to the world? It is a person's own choice how they present themselves, and I have found that a person's outward appearance (i.e., clothing, hairstyle, body art, etc.) DOES generally tell a lot about what is on the inside. Am I wrong to go on my personal experience?

 
Old 09-24-2002, 06:00 AM   #12
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Greenberry, I think it's dangerous to judge people based on appearances. There are many people out there, male and female that have tattoos and piercings who are very intelligent, successful and all round nice people. Personally, I would never mark my body with a tattoo but I did at one point have a belly button ring. I didn't do it for attention, I did it because I thought it looked cute.
On the flip side, there are a lot of very preppy looking individuals out there who present a clean cut, perfect appearance to the world and are in fact criminals or thieves or rapists or whatever. I know my examples are extreme, but the bottom line is that you can't judge a person by the exterior they present to the world! It's not fair and it's narrow minded.

Drewbaby, if you're willing to break up with this guy over a tongue ring (you have every right to do that), then why would you write another post about marrying him????? I don't get it...

 
Old 09-24-2002, 07:14 AM   #13
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You're right, you can't ALWAYS judge everybody correctly based on appearance, but it is a really good first indicator. That's all I meant to say.

I still don't see why it is considered narrow-minded to read what people are advertising and base a first impression on that. People can't help some things about their appearance (i.e., things that they are born with), but are able to control many aspects of their appearance. If someone projects a specific appearance, why I am wrong to base a first impression on what they are putting out there for the world to see? I don't have time to get to know everyone in the world to see how wonderful they all are on the inside.


 
Old 09-24-2002, 08:37 AM   #14
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Actually self expression and getting it done for attention are two different things. Those that do it for attention rarely put any thought or heart into getting such things done. When I say self expression it is for myself. To have art on my skin that is now a part of me for life and that reflects various aspects of my life. I dont run around in a bikini to show off my self expression. The tats are solely for me.
Another thing about those that get them for attention,they are the ones that tend to regret getting them done. Not saying all that do it that way regret their body art but some do.
I have people,once they find out I have tats tell me they never picked me as the type to have them. I laugh when they say this and ask why. They say I seem to nice and goody-goody to have them. Then I really laugh because those people are the ones that have me all wrong,they went on first impression of me. First impressions are often wrong and many people miss out on getting to know the truly interesting people in life. Heck I was raised to always make a good first impression becuase it supposedly meant so much to get anywhere in life. Then I meet the people that have gotten places in life(great places) and none of them make great first impressions. Most actually shock people upon first impression. That is why I say many miss out on the truly interesting people in life because they go by first impressions alone.
I am not saying you are wrong to express your opinion just saying that it might be a bit narrow minded to exclude or judge people solely on them having tattoos or piercings that are showing. And no I am not saying you are wrong about your personal experience. Just saying that the each person is different no matter what their choices are for tats and piercings.

Then of course most could care less how people feel about their choices. That is why I laugh when people get the wrong impressions about me because it truly is funny to see someone have to readjust thier thinking to see more in life.
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Old 09-28-2002, 01:58 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by Greenberry:
You're right, you can't ALWAYS judge everybody correctly based on appearance, but it is a really good first indicator. That's all I meant to say.

I still don't see why it is considered narrow-minded to read what people are advertising and base a first impression on that. People can't help some things about their appearance (i.e., things that they are born with), but are able to control many aspects of their appearance. If someone projects a specific appearance, why I am wrong to base a first impression on what they are putting out there for the world to see? I don't have time to get to know everyone in the world to see how wonderful they all are on the inside.


Because you're discriminating against people based on first impressions, not making assumptions about them. Because what you're doing is judging EVERYONE with tattoos or piercings that you can see in a negative way. It's exactly like judging everyone who's black to be, I don't know, stupid, and then saying, well, but not all black people are like that, I'm just judging based on first impressions which is what everyone does.

How many people have you gotten to know that have tatoos or piercings that are visible? Because I bet it isn't that many, if your assumptions about them are all "they're immature and want attention." Do you see what I'm getting at, here?

I can look at a person with blue hair wearing a Sex Pistol's tee shirt walking down the street and make the following assumptions:
1) They like punk music.
2) They probably hold liberal political views.
3) They're a slacker who hasn't finished high school.

Which of these assumptions is discrimination?

 
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