What would you do in my position? Relationship question - Relationship Health Message Board

Generation · 08-20-2002, 03:50 PM

Ok, first off I just want to appologize for ranting and the long winded thread. This has just been bothering me alot and I need to let it out, yet I dont really have anyone that I can talk to seriously.

My gf and I have been together for almost 7 months now, I am 19 and she is 18, this is my longest relationship so far (kinda sad, huh). Before her and I got together we just talked as friends, and she told me that she wanted to get back with one of her ex boyfriends but he chose another girl. This upset her alot as she wanted to be with him badly. Well now, her ex and that girl have broken up. This happened about a month and a half ago. As soon as they broke up, he started talking to my gf. She thought it was weird because he hasnt talked to her in 6 months, but she talked to him anyways. Well they talk alot more now, probably every other day. They both say its just as friends. However, I talked to his ex ( we are friends) and she said that he told her that he would want to go back out with my gf, if I was out of the picture. SO I know he likes her, this upsets me. I have talked to her, she knows exactly how I feel. But she says she doesnt like him like that, but it is little things that she does to make me think she does like him, the same things she did when she first started getting feelings for me. But she just says nothing is differant. She tells me everything I want to hear, so I kind of have trouble believing it eventhough I trust her. It has been causing me alot of stress and depression, I really dont know what to do. I want to be with this girl so bad, but I am just having doubts about how she feels about me..and I dont want to be lead on. I have thought about breaking it off with her. But I really dont want to. I understand that I am young and will have more relationships, but RIGHT NOW in my life I want to be with this one, and only this one.

If you were in my position, what would you do? Would you break up with her? Or would you just try and put up with it and hope and pray that she doesnt develope feelings for him. I am really confuse. Once again I appologize for the long winded thread, I just wanted to get some peoples opinions on this. Thanks alot

CINDERELLA · 08-20-2002, 04:08 PM

If I were your age I know I would have put up with it because I was so desperate to hang onto that person, but because I am older and wiser I would say there is no point holding onto someone who doesnt want you and it only makes it harder in the long run. You dont seem to totally trust her and trust is really important in a relationship. Perhaps you should tell her to choose between him and you as the other guy is causing a problem between you, or are you just the jealous non-trusting type? Good luck.

mydog8mybrain · 08-20-2002, 04:54 PM

Well - Ya gotta excuse me. I'm a little forward on stuff like this. I don't mean to sound cold or anything but here is my opinion:

Have her pack her bags and hit the road pal. There's plenty more where she came from. Better to be with someone that wants to be with you than beat your head against the wall for someone that you think may leave.

Good luck !

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Be nice to your kids.... They will choose your nursing home.

Generation · 08-20-2002, 05:38 PM

Thanks for the advice.

I am a jealous person. Its like I do trust her, but I dont trust him..which in return makes me worry about her too. I dont really know how to explain it.

The thing that pulls me so close to this paticular girl..a few years ago I told myself I wouldnt get into a relationship until I was done with all of my schooling and could get serious. For awhile no girl could ever make me interested in them, I was dedicated to my life in general. Until I met her, she had everything I wanted in a girl. The more I learned about her, the better she got. Those first 6 months with her were probably the happiest of my life.

Flowerduet · 08-20-2002, 07:07 PM

I agree with Cinderella when I was your age I would have help on with all my might, but a few (lol) years later (im 34)I see things differently. Also being a girl, listen to how evil we can be, we will keep the guy we have until we find another, if she isnt sure he wants her back she will hold on to u till she is sure. A girl cant be alone u know. My friends call them back burner guys, we keep them around for when we lose or dump the front buner guys. We can be really mean liek that. So if she isnt sure she has him back she may just be keeping u till she finds out for sure that way if she doesnt have him back she still has u. Ok Ive given away enough of our secrets, hope I dont get kicked out of the girlie club, lol. Take care hun and know there are others out there.