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Old 08-19-2002, 01:39 AM   #1
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Unhappy had to break up with atheist boyfriend..

hello everyone.. first off, let me tell you that im female, 16 and my.. well, i guess ex-boyfriend (after today),.. is 15
ive got a sad story to tell you.. what im looking for here is some advice on what to do about this


/rolls up sleeves
alright, heres how it started..

i met this boy on a counter-strike server online.. we were friends who played together pretty much every day.. then he got ICQ and we started talking alot.. he started liking me more and more.. i wasnt interested at all, because i already had a boyfriend and was very happy with him

well after about 6 months of knowing eachother, he said he said his family was going to visit my state (california), and he asked me if id want to meet up with him since he would only be staying a few hours away.. i was all for it!! he was an awesome friend, afterall
so after we got our parents' permission, we set a date to go to knotts berry farm (an amusement park)
well.. it was great.. he was so awesome.. we had so much fun..
after that day, i could not get him off of my mind.. then i realized id lost what id felt for my then-boyfriend, and broke up with him
and then i told Dominic (the guy i met at knotts) how i felt about him.. of course, he was ecstatic because he was just as in love as i was.. so it was great, we were together and happy!

well, i forgot to ask him something.. what he feels about God and religion
he knew i was christian so he was scared to tell me.. well he spoke up and told me he didnt believe in anything.. i asked him if hes sure he made up his mind, or if he was willing to consider changing his views, but nope
i thought "alright fine, it does depress me that you dont believe in god.. but it is your life, and youre free to believe what you like"
and he thought the same of me

well, today (weve been together for about a week) i found something in the bible (corinthians 6:14) that says
"be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?"

so i thought.. great.. now i have to choose between God or my boyfriend.. who i am so incredibly in love with..
needless to say, i chose God

we are both heartbroken.. i just feel so horribly depressed.. hes pretty much going to stay away from me now, because he said he just couldnt handle being around when things are this way.. of course, i can understand that

we said how much we loved eachother.. and he left.. he said i could call him anytime if i needed him..


does anyone have any advice for me at all? i just do not know what to do anymore.. i have a feeling im going to be depressed for a very long time if i cannot be with him..

 
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Old 08-19-2002, 05:35 AM   #2
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Hi Popples~
First of all, I think that it is wonderful that you were able to take a stand for what you believe in. It can be really difficult to do sometimes. You were right about the scripture from Corinthians. You do not need to be "yoked with an unbeliever"---but my question is....Is he a true ATHEIST or does he just doubt God? Sometimes people hear the miracles and get overwhelmed. Especially as a teenager, he may not have been raised in a Christian home and this may be why he believes the way he does. You could take it two ways: either you found out early in your relationship so it would be easier on you OR it may be that you were led to him to help guide him on his path. Know what I mean? The second choice can be difficult at times. My grandmother used to say that "the devil will try to get you through the one you love." I didn't understand it until I became an "old, married woman" but it is hard to fight with your husband about church issues and becomes more difficult when you involve children. If you lived closer, I would try to get him to attend church with you or start out by going to Christian concerts or activities with your youth group. Just don't sacrifice your beliefs....wishing you the best!

 
Old 08-19-2002, 01:26 PM   #3
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Unhappy

thank you for the kind words..

its just so hard to get him to listen on the subject.. as if hes researched it alot and knows for sure that he isnt going to change his opinions about it
im just losing hope here.. im just praying that God will change the situation so that we can be together..
dom is really all i can think about.. /sigh

 
Old 08-19-2002, 02:25 PM   #4
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Sometimes people don't want to be convinced of whatever the other person's truth is. One of my friends and I (he's a devout Christian, I'm a non-practicing Jew) have gotten into numerous discussions where he has said that he's afraid I will burn in hell, that God will punish me, and other such things. It's nice to know that he cares, but I also get very annoyed with him when he pushes this subject too often or for too long. I'll discuss my views with anyone and often enjoy debates, but when my views are attacked, I tire of defending myself over and over again to the same person.

I guess the point I'm trying to make, is that people often believe very strongly in whatever it is they believe in. It often does no good to try over and over to convince them otherwise. I can tell that with such differing views as you guys have, it would be hard to impossible to have a relationship. If you can't reconcile your beliefs with his and have a relationship, then perhaps it is better to just stay friends and not push the subject. Then, perhaps, if he does change his beliefs in the future, then you try a relationship or you'll just be left with a good friend.

 
Old 08-19-2002, 02:30 PM   #5
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soccermom, I think it great he stood his ground for what he believed in!!!!!
buck.

 
Old 08-19-2002, 02:53 PM   #6
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yeah.. im truly praying that he will find God, because i really want to be with him and i really want the best for him.. but im not going to force my religion on him, he has to be willing to listen if hes going to change..
i guess its all up to God now

 
Old 08-19-2002, 04:13 PM   #7
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Popples~
I think you are right on track. You should not change your values or beliefs for anyone and that is often hard to do. It will work out for the best for you...I just know it!

SoccerMom


ps/
Buck, I was not saying that HE should change if he don't want to. I am all for the freedom of religion because my religion is precious to me. Popples said that she was a Christian and as a Christian I wanted to assure her that if she becomes involved in a relationship with an Atheist, it would be very difficult for her. As in any relationship, I think it is best to be open and honest about all true feelings and beliefs so there are no surprises later. Of course, that is MY opinion....

 
Old 08-19-2002, 07:07 PM   #8
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thank you so much for the support, SM
i feel better having talked about it.. hopefully everything will work out in the end

 
Old 08-19-2002, 08:32 PM   #9
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http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/t_up.gif

 
Old 08-22-2002, 02:15 PM   #10
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I just read over the posts and I have to say Im so impressed that u and your ex are standing by your beliefs. I don't think I would be as strong!! I wish u both the best of luck and happiness!!!!

 
Old 08-22-2002, 08:19 PM   #11
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id love to be with him.. i respect his beliefs as he respects mine, but we cannot be together because of what i noted in my other post.. you know, how christians cant be "unequally yoked"?
im still reading more about it.. trying to see if theres any hope for us

 
Old 08-23-2002, 04:25 PM   #12
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i too think it would be wrong to only follow some parts of the bible, and ignore others.. but all those quotes you have are from the old testament.. which is pretty different than the new testament
the old testament was before Jesus came.. i think God became more lenient towards men after Christ came and died for our sins.. im still learning about this religion, but im pretty sure i came accross that a few times

and no, i dont take this as a bashing.. i dont mind discussing these things.. just makes me think & learn more

im not always trying to convert him.. i asked him if he didnt want me to preach to him (after he told me he was atheist), and he said "no i dont".. and i just figured, after that, that he had already made up his mind about what he believes in, and was pretty much unwilling to listen

so.. there isnt much i can do, except pray that he will change or that God will make a way that we can be together

we are both still really depressed about this.. im trying not to lose hope

 
Old 08-23-2002, 05:20 PM   #13
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This isn't really related to anything that has been discussed in this post but I just wanted to say something. AshLin - the following three quotes are followed in the Orthodox Judaism. I'm not sure how they deal w/the "unclean women" one but I know that it is forbidden to touch the women while they're menstruating. Working on the Sabbath is forbidden (I guess that's true for Christianity and Islam as well?) and shellfish doesn't conform to kosher laws (cannot be eaten).


Lev.15:19-24: Allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness…. (Are we supposed to ask if she is menstruating before we shake hands with every woman...? I mean really I would find this offensive.)
Exodus 35:2: He who works on the Sabbath should clearly be put to death. (Wow that’s a little harsh… but hey the bible says it)
Lev.11:10: Eating shellfish is an abomination.

 
Old 08-25-2002, 09:00 PM   #14
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im sorry but why did you choose "god" over your bf??
i mean you cant see god or talk to him or even know he it whatever exist.
get the guy back and deal with reality

 
Old 08-25-2002, 10:21 PM   #15
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how can you ask a christian why she chose God over her boyfriend..

 
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