had to break up with atheist boyfriend.. - Relationship Health Message Board

PoPpLeS · 08-19-2002, 02:39 AM

hello everyone.. first off, let me tell you that im female, 16 and my.. well, i guess ex-boyfriend (after today),.. is 15
ive got a sad story to tell you.. what im looking for here is some advice on what to do about this

/rolls up sleeves
alright, heres how it started..

i met this boy on a counter-strike server online.. we were friends who played together pretty much every day.. then he got ICQ and we started talking alot.. he started liking me more and more.. i wasnt interested at all, because i already had a boyfriend and was very happy with him

well after about 6 months of knowing eachother, he said he said his family was going to visit my state (california), and he asked me if id want to meet up with him since he would only be staying a few hours away.. i was all for it!! he was an awesome friend, afterall
so after we got our parents' permission, we set a date to go to knotts berry farm (an amusement park)
well.. it was great.. he was so awesome.. we had so much fun..
after that day, i could not get him off of my mind.. then i realized id lost what id felt for my then-boyfriend, and broke up with him
and then i told Dominic (the guy i met at knotts) how i felt about him.. of course, he was ecstatic because he was just as in love as i was.. so it was great, we were together and happy!

well, i forgot to ask him something.. what he feels about God and religion
he knew i was christian so he was scared to tell me.. well he spoke up and told me he didnt believe in anything.. i asked him if hes sure he made up his mind, or if he was willing to consider changing his views, but nope
i thought "alright fine, it does depress me that you dont believe in god.. but it is your life, and youre free to believe what you like"
and he thought the same of me

well, today (weve been together for about a week) i found something in the bible (corinthians 6:14) that says
"be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?"

so i thought.. great.. now i have to choose between God or my boyfriend.. who i am so incredibly in love with..
needless to say, i chose God

we are both heartbroken.. i just feel so horribly depressed.. hes pretty much going to stay away from me now, because he said he just couldnt handle being around when things are this way.. of course, i can understand that

we said how much we loved eachother.. and he left.. he said i could call him anytime if i needed him..

does anyone have any advice for me at all? i just do not know what to do anymore.. i have a feeling im going to be depressed for a very long time if i cannot be with him..

*SoccerMom* · 08-19-2002, 06:35 AM

Hi Popples~
First of all, I think that it is wonderful that you were able to take a stand for what you believe in. It can be really difficult to do sometimes. You were right about the scripture from Corinthians. You do not need to be "yoked with an unbeliever"---but my question is....Is he a true ATHEIST or does he just doubt God? Sometimes people hear the miracles and get overwhelmed. Especially as a teenager, he may not have been raised in a Christian home and this may be why he believes the way he does. You could take it two ways: either you found out early in your relationship so it would be easier on you OR it may be that you were led to him to help guide him on his path. Know what I mean? The second choice can be difficult at times. My grandmother used to say that "the devil will try to get you through the one you love." I didn't understand it until I became an "old, married woman" but it is hard to fight with your husband about church issues and becomes more difficult when you involve children. If you lived closer, I would try to get him to attend church with you or start out by going to Christian concerts or activities with your youth group. Just don't sacrifice your beliefs....wishing you the best!

PoPpLeS · 08-19-2002, 02:26 PM

thank you for the kind words..

its just so hard to get him to listen on the subject.. as if hes researched it alot and knows for sure that he isnt going to change his opinions about it
im just losing hope here.. im just praying that God will change the situation so that we can be together..
dom is really all i can think about.. /sigh

star508 · 08-19-2002, 03:25 PM

Sometimes people don't want to be convinced of whatever the other person's truth is. One of my friends and I (he's a devout Christian, I'm a non-practicing Jew) have gotten into numerous discussions where he has said that he's afraid I will burn in hell, that God will punish me, and other such things. It's nice to know that he cares, but I also get very annoyed with him when he pushes this subject too often or for too long. I'll discuss my views with anyone and often enjoy debates, but when my views are attacked, I tire of defending myself over and over again to the same person.

I guess the point I'm trying to make, is that people often believe very strongly in whatever it is they believe in. It often does no good to try over and over to convince them otherwise. I can tell that with such differing views as you guys have, it would be hard to impossible to have a relationship. If you can't reconcile your beliefs with his and have a relationship, then perhaps it is better to just stay friends and not push the subject. Then, perhaps, if he does change his beliefs in the future, then you try a relationship or you'll just be left with a good friend.

buck58 · 08-19-2002, 03:30 PM

soccermom, I think it great he stood his ground for what he believed in!!!!!
buck.