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Old 11-04-2002, 01:01 PM   #1
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Post It doesn't make any sense

My ex that I dated for 9 months (we broke up in March) told me last Friday that he never loved me and that he knew that in the begining of the relationship. I always had a wall up with other boyfriends, but he convinced me to let my guard down. I really let go and it felt great to finally fall in love. Since then, I've never been treated so bad. After we broke up, we continued to "see" each other. During that time I felt like I was getting used for sex and money. When I confronted him, he agreed. When we first got together, I was the happiest I had ever been. It has been a while since we broke up but I am still hurting. I have never been so good to a guy and I just don't get it. My esteem has been broken.
Another thing, he just moved here when we started dating. I had already lived here for 3 years and I knew this band that needed a drummer. He plays drums; they started playing in shows at bars all of the time. He became conceided. Our problems started. I do not know if this is the answer.
I just do not know how to deal with this.

Ginger

[This message has been edited by GingerL129 (edited 11-06-2002).]

 
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Old 11-04-2002, 01:17 PM   #2
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Ginger,
This guy happens to be a loser. He is not worth your time. I know it hurts, but you should be glad because you found out what a loser he really is. There are good guys out there and there are the bad ones. Why is it that most (99%) of us end up dating the trash guys before we meet the right one. God knows I have been through that more then once, and so have my friends. Now, I finally met and married the man of my dreams. Ginger, be glad your rid of him. Go out with your friends and celebrate. It will take time, but you will realize that its for best that you are rid of him. When the time is right when you least expect it, you will meet the right one also.
Take care

 
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Old 11-05-2002, 12:09 AM   #3
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I've dated a lot of musicians and I have to say that many musicians are just bad news. I don't mean that all are, of course, it's just been my experience that musicians, as appealing as they are, usually turn out to be flaky.

 
Old 11-05-2002, 08:19 PM   #4
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I also dated a musician a 22 year old kid who plays the guitar and I thought I loved him but he was just like a lot of other guys I dealt with I let him control me and about being flaky and conceded yeah a lot of them are.. but it seems I am 32 years old and I still meet the loosers hun hang in there I know how it feels I thought so many guys loved me and none of them did and the one guy I finally realized I loved never felt that some kind of love I am still hurt by my ex boyfriend..we have been broken up the 22 year old) for almost 2 years I am over him but I am also lonely so I think about him a lot.. I will pray for you sweetie..
((((((Renee')))))

fuzzydude

 
Old 11-06-2002, 08:54 AM   #5
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Now, I'm really confused. He's been so mean to me for so long and last night he called me. Now he wants to be friends? I still think I love him, but I'm still hurt. I don't know if I should be his friend. I want to, but I've already started to heal (a little) and I don't want him to hurt me again.
Oh, and I loved the "flaky" thing. Now that I think about it, he is kind of dumb- but he is funny.
You guys give great advice.

 
Old 11-06-2002, 10:09 AM   #6
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So in essence, you're saying you want to be friends with someone who lied and said they never loved you, was using you for sex and money and treated you like crap? Does this sound healthy to you?

Forget about this loser. Why are you even talking to him?

 
Old 11-06-2002, 12:01 PM   #7
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Ginger, these ladies are giving you very good advice. All relationships take time after you have been hurt to heal. He probably has a history of this if you check his background. Always look when your dating someone if they have accomplished anything in their life, do they have anything to show for their adults years. He will continue to use females because that is the only truly thing he has accomplished in his life is how to take and use. He will never gain. Do not be friends with him that is his way of getting back in. Walk away from it. He will bleed you dry - your emotions, heart, money and your soul. He also may have mental problems. So stay busy and enjoy your life and give someone else your good qualities which are evident. These type people never appreciate a good thing. He knows your a good person and he is playing games with you by being mean to you. He knows you will take it. I just experienced this samething with my ex boyfriend. I am very glad I got out. My prayers are with you, badgirl

 
Old 11-06-2002, 12:34 PM   #8
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I agree with Lindarella, He did it to you once, he will do it again. Thats what he is looking for. I have seen it happen to one of my friends. Believe me, he has not changed. Your better then him. Don't fall for his lies again.
Take care.

[This message has been edited by Pinkroses (edited 11-06-2002).]

 
Old 11-06-2002, 12:49 PM   #9
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He did kind of ask me for money again when he was trying to be all sweet and saying how he wants us to be friends. I was his first real relationship. He was only 19 when we started dating. I was 22. That's why I'm so confused. I don't know if he means half of the things he does or if he's just young. He's looking for the model looking girl that he can just play games with. I guess I'm just going to have to let him go. I just hope I don't regret it later on in life.

 
Old 11-08-2002, 08:04 PM   #10
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ginger let me ask you this?? is his life going well right now I noticed when my ex boyfriends life was not going well he would call me or write me and tell me all about it and as soon as his life was back on track I would not even hear from him.. I sent him a card yesterday and I knew in my heart I shouldn't I know its hard to let go I still and struggling with it but I know deep down inside he has been trying to say goodbye for a year now.. I suggest you and I both look inside our hearts and think do we really want these men in our lives??? what do they do for us?? and I know I always get upset after my ex and I talk... so Hang in there and if you need anyone to talk to I am here..
love ya,Renee'
heres a big hug from me to you..
((((((Ginger))))))

 
Old 11-09-2002, 08:24 AM   #11
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GingerL129, It is hard to let got, my ex did like newdawn's did, tell him you wish him luck and not to call, email, etc. You will do a whole lot better. Hang in there each day gets better believe me. I thought I could remain friends with mine, but that was impossible. Prayers are with you, badgirl

 
Old 11-13-2002, 09:51 AM   #12
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Newdawn has a good point. Does his affection for you coincide with him needing something from you... money, sex, whatever? When things are going well for him, where is he?

 
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