Has anyone been married and thinks it is over before it really started, but found a way to make it work and be worthwhile? Confused, been married for a year, together for four. We have lived together pretty much the whole time, I was nineteen when we got together. Before we were married, I got pregnant, but that ended due to genetic abnormalities, due to his faulty genes. I married him even though I was not sure he was the one, I though at one point he was, and for the most part things are good. We have always had financial problems. We are night and day sometimes too. I am really serious about school and work, he is a huge slacker. He is a sarcastic joker all the time, and though I like humor, he is just not funny to me sometimes. Since we have been married, I have tried to find the love we once had, but to no avail. I feel like it is all my fault for saying "yes" when I was not completely sure. I do not want to get a divorce but, I want better than what I have now.
I constantly think about what is to come for our future. I want it to get better not worse, I want our love to grow and not fade, but I don't know what to do.
I think you and your husband should consider going to counseling. You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Communication is very important in a marriage. If you don't make a move somehow, nothing is going to change.
[This message has been edited by Pinkroses (edited 11-13-2002).]
Are there any children involved? If not, I say it's time to evaluate your life and marriage and decide whether it's worth sticking it out a while longer. You were pretty young when you hooked up with this guy, and have probably changed a lot in the intervening years. And whatever you do, don't have children with him right now if there are none already. That would only complicate things further. If there are already children involved, you might want to stay with him for their sake. Counseling for one or both of you would also be a good idea no matter what.