IN LAWS UGH - Relationship Health Message Board

rebecarooni · 12-19-2002, 07:35 AM

my fiance and I had a blow up this morning because of
an upcoming trip to his parents' house for the Holiday. He didn't like the way my son was behaving at breakfast which evolved into "He better behave at my folks'" and "None of this crap bothers you, the weekend will be stressful enough blah blah blah..." Well, the skinny is that my six year old has ADHD that he takes medicines for and possibly Asperger's Syndrome (which is a form of autism), so, he is a bit different from other children. He isn't a beast by any means, he is a typical six year boy but multiplied by like 100. In other words, the things that are endearing about six year old boys are taken and amplified in my little guy so that on occasion, he is overwhelming. Well, basically, my fiance told me that he expects the weekend at his parents' house to be stressful enough with out my son acting up. He's not acting up! He's acting like himself! The long and short of it felt to me that he is emabarrassed by us and doesn't want us around his family (and his father is impossible, he doesn't even greet me when I answer the phone and it's him.. he grunts). Of course, his neice and nephew are the whiniest most spoiled brats I have ever met but they don't have labels like my son so they are perfect. I told him fine, if you are going to be this difficult to be aroiund, we don't have to go, you go. He said fine to that and now I am at work and seething and all I want to do is go home and clean my house. MEN!!! I am venting and don't expect responses but feel free to leave them.

Pinkroses · 12-19-2002, 08:14 AM

My in-laws are something else too. A blank piece of paper has more personality then my in-laws. Anyway, I hope things work out for you.
Take care

siobhan · 12-19-2002, 09:37 AM

The nicest way to put it is: Screw him. What a jerk..

Your son has a certifiable disabilty.

I wouldn't put yourself, and most of all, your son through what sounds like a definately horrible weekend.

I don't want you to take what I'm about to say the wrong way, I'm sure you already know it, but I know that sometimes it helps me to see it in b&w:

You are the only mother that your son has, and he is needier than a 'normal' child. (I hate using the term 'normal,' because that does not make your son 'abnormal.') He deserves only the best and the respect that would be afforded any child, and you, as his mother, it's your job to make sure that he is not in an environment that is not condusive to his psychological health.

If your fiancee is embarassed by your child, then forget him. Your son comes first and if he loves you, then he would love and accept your child.

I have experience with children with Austism spectrum. It's not always easy, and it can be extremely exhausting. And aggravating to have to deal with people who don't understand that he's not just 'a brat.'

I hope this situation works out for you and your son. Good Luck.

Lady^ · 12-19-2002, 11:49 AM

Well, maybe it's a good idea if you and your son do stay home instead of going with him. Why put either one of you through that around the Holidays? Sheesh, Holidays can be stressful enough without having to deal with that kind of stuff. And maybe if you stand your ground and stay home your finace will miss you both and realize how important the 2 of you are to him.

Oh, and if you really feel the need to clean you can come to my house....it sure would lessen the stress I'm feeling right now.