janedoe1301

Hey Jenna, I think you and I are both playing the waiting game. I have been with my BF for 3 years and he hasn't proposed either. However, he has made it clear that he does want to marry me, but he wants to wait until he can afford a ring. I have gently suggested a layaway/installment plan at a jeweler or that he ask his stepfather for his rightful inheritance of some of his mother's jewelry. I sometimes wonder if my BF has committment issues, kind of like the way you wonder about your BF. I totally understand how you feel about continuing to use the terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" in a long term relationship - after this long it just sounds cheesy.

I think in your case, like Sami said, your BF had a bad experience in the past and is afraid of making the same mistake twice. In my case, I am the first really serious long-term relationship my BF has ever been had, so I think he's also scared to make it his last by tying the knot.

Personally, I think 3-1/2 years is long enough to wait. That's the timeframe I've set in my mind too. Like your BF, my BF is the most wonderful man I've ever met and I love him more than anything. But I think there also comes a point where you have to decide if both of you are moving in the same direction. I don't know if you ever watch Dr. Phil, but one time he was on Oprah and a woman asked this same "how long do I wait" question. The couple had been together for 3 years as well and Dr. Phil pointed out the old saying "why buy the car when you can test drive it for free?"

Sorry to have such a long reply. Just wanted you to know you aren't alone. I do think some gentle nudging may help get your point across, but like Sami said, wait until he's not under so much stress, otherwise it could backfire. If you ever need to talk, my e-mail is listed in my profile.