I need advice from anyone and everyone! - Relationship Health Message Board

charby15 · 12-27-2002, 03:25 PM

OK i have posted a few things about my current relationship that was and is going great except i found notes from his SO CALLED EX. I seriously think he has been lying to both of us for the past 7 months. I was in a relationship before this that i thought was the one we ended up breakin up 2 years ago next month because he got cold feet. He had a ring and was going to ask me to marry him for a Christmas gift. His older sister (who did not know me) told him if we got married he would never get out of the military, he wouldn't beable to go to college or play baseball. So he freaked and broke it off. a year later he came clean to me and said he loved me still and always would. He knows i am in a current relationship so he keeps his distance, but we still on occasions talk. Well, for some reason i felt like callin him and wishing his family a marry Christmas. We just got off the phone again and he wants to spend new years with me. Well the last time we spent time together as a couple was new years 2001. And he said i promise it will be more fun than last time (we fell asleep before midnight!) A part of me has always been curious about how things would be now since we always got along when we were together. And now he is out of the military, going to school and playing baseball. He is doing what he wanted and so am I. We were perfect then, i just wonder why we wouldn't be now. I don't want to cheat but the thought of my BF being at home with his So called Ex right now makes me think that i shouldn't let this oppertunity pass me by. I have no way to get ahold of my BF to talk to him about things before hand either. For some reason I have always been drawn to my ex no matter what the cercumstances are. I have always loved him and always will. Any advice would be great. thanks

[This message has been edited by charby15 (edited 12-27-2002).]

feelingbad · 12-27-2002, 04:35 PM

if you still have feelings for you ex, i wouldn't act upon them, not without having a talk with your current b/f first. for one thing it is wrong to cheat, that is the worst thing that anyone can do. and it is obvious that you have trust issues, if you can not trust the one you are with, then you have no reason to be in that relationship. it's not fair to either one of you. i would take the time to think about what is going to make you happy, after all that is the most important thing. just give it some thought, and don't make any snap decisions. good luck.

MelNor · 12-27-2002, 05:03 PM

I say go for it! I think the whole thing about you not being able to contact your current bf and not being able to speak to his parents, and the notes are as fishy as hell.

I think you should go out on New Year's and have a good time, just do it on a friendly level and then your not cheating.

If you still feel this way about the ex, then I think you should get out of the relationship with the current bf. Just be sure you do it for reasons about your current relationship and not the idea of having one with the ex.

Mel

------------------
Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark.
A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

magee · 12-27-2002, 08:29 PM

I've been following you story.... I know he's home right now (the b/f) Why can't you call him? Can't you call him at home? Can't you call him on his cell phone?

ravekane · 12-28-2002, 07:15 AM

Hi Charby15

I've been reading some of your posts and I must say you sound so confused.

First off I think your current boyfrined is lying to you about something. I do think there are pshycho ex girlfriends out there, but ussually they go away w/ time. Unless there is some incling that he is leading her on in some way.
Then you say you found a note saying that. Usually guys and girls throw things away if they are not intrested in their ex's anymore. So i do belive that it is current and he is hiding it from you.
You've only been dating 6 months and YOU can't possibly know everything about him. To get a tatoo it must have been quite serious w/ them two. I don't know it sounds to me like he is leading you both on. How convinent for him, to have 2 women. What I would do is talk to the EX on the phone and see what the hell is going on, who cares if you look odd, screw it. Its your life yOU need to know.

Also I would DEFINATELY go see your EX on New yrs. Why not, have fun.