Old guy/New guy - Relationship Health Message Board

GingerL129 · 12-23-2002, 11:19 AM

Okay, two facts to start. I'm moving in 4 months. My ex is a very close friend.
My ex (before my last ex) is moving back here in a month or so. I know he still cares about me and we are close friends so there is a good chance we could get back together.
I'm starting to date someone. He's great, but I know it won't last with me moving and all. 4 months is not very long to become real friends with someone. I have fun being with him, but he wants to get serious and of course I don't.
Do I go for it anyways? I really like this new guy, but I don't want to lead him on, wait till my ex gets here and maybe give him the boot. I think about my ex and the new guy about the same amount. They both make me happy. What to do? New or old? What do you think?

bobbee · 12-23-2002, 03:02 PM

Your ex is your ex for a reason. If you were really meant to be, you would prob. still be together. I don't know..it's a tough situation and I've been in your situation before. I got back with my ex., and we ended up breaking up AGAIN in the end. Whatever the situation may be...I wouldn't toss the new guy just because of your ex being in the picture...BUT...I wouldn't get into things too much with the new guy, if you are moving away indefinitely. If it is only for a little bit, then...maybe you should go for it with the new guy, and when you come back, you can see where things stand with him.

wrin · 12-25-2002, 07:47 AM

How about neither?

Don't string a new guy along for the sake of affection if you know it's not going to work.

What a wretched thing to do.

jasmine30 · 12-25-2002, 02:18 PM

Hi Ginger,
I would follow my heart or gut instinct.If you dont really want a relationship at this time and are moving,then it may be best you go with what you want..It sounds you still care alot about your former and if you think the both of you could start over maybe you should pursue it..All the best!

Jasmine

2bad4u · 01-20-2003, 12:54 PM

"wait till my ex gets here and maybe give him the boot" ???

wow - all i can say from a GUY'S point of view is - i'm GLAD i'm this guy you speak of giving the boot!

HOW can you lead a guy ON like that? What - you can't be HONEST with the guy and tell him what's going on???

"Hey - look, i'm moving, and i really like ya, but in 4 months i'm going to be out of here and i'm pretty sure it'll mean the end for "us". If you want to keep doing what we're doing UNTIL then, cool. If not, then you're going to need to decide if you still want to stick around or leave"

That's all it takes...sheesh.

BE FAIR WITH THE GUY for CH$%^T'S SAKE!

It's NOT FAIR to play games with people's feelings like that - it's been done to me, and it HURTS.

Be emotionally mature about this, be fair to the other person. To be otherwise is just NOT cool at ALL.

Women hate it and complain about it when men are "players", and then you hear something like THIS from a woman...disgusting. Then you wonder why guys decide that women are a pain in the ***...