Obsession... - Relationship Health Message Board

Viona03 · 04-11-2003, 01:33 PM

How can you deal your obsession for someone who is not worthy? Have you ever had this feeling when you love this person so much but again hate him for the way he treats you?
I need some insight in getting over this feeling (this person out of my mind and life) ..... Please give me some suggestions...

[This message has been edited by Viona03 (edited 04-11-2003).]

sherrie · 04-11-2003, 04:17 PM

Hi Viona,

I read your previous post and at first I thought I wrote it and forgot about it... I think we are leading the same lives. I am going thru the exact same thing with a guy that I feel comfort with, security, love(I am not sure in the way it should be), but no physical attraction on my part. I have known him for three years.. during that time I also had guy#2 who I was completely attracted to but I knew that he was a player and he would not call me for weeks at a time after we had been physical... I also feel that I am obsessed over the second guy... Not that he treats me bad becuase we don't have a "relationship", but he neglets me and I know he has other women. He is a good guy though.. I have known him as friends from my past, he may not be into me as much as I am into him or just denying his feelings for me, don't know. I feel like I love him at times and times I hate him. The first guy treats me so well, but what scares me is if I marry him and miss the sexual fun.. and just spend my whole life thinking about guy#2. Don't know if I could be one of those women who marries for comfort, security and not sex. I guess any suggestions would be nice too. Weird huh? I guess its nice to know that I am not the only one with such a dilema. Funny thing is I am 29 as well.

Sapphire926 · 04-12-2003, 08:22 AM

29 years old here too!! Oh boy, and you guys sound like you're living my life!! Im not obsessed with my hubby, but am afraid to leave because its what I know, its whats familiar. The relationship has gone down hill for some time now and it scares the crap out of me. Now, with two children and no job, Im afraid to leave just because of the financial fears. How screwed up is that??? I know I need to make a move and I also know that I am strong enough to make it through whatever is coming my way, but Im truly petrified!!!

HoosierBj · 04-12-2003, 12:48 PM

I fell in love with a man over 30 years ago who was incredibly wrong for me. I still love him.. but I no longer have a relationship with him.
What I want to really get through to other people who are going through similar feelings is:
You can love someone FOREVER. You do NOT have to live with them, marry them, or damage your self-esteem for them.
Loving someone is the biggest gift you can give someone. Choosing to date until you find the best possible person for you is giving yourself the best gift of all.
We grow up thinking love is forever, or we should "work it out". Sometimes it's just that you haven't discovered yet that there WILL be someone else down the road who is compatible, caring, giving, etc whom you can also love with all your heart.

Viona03 · 04-13-2003, 11:06 AM

Wow! Women's heart! What can I say? I must say I am so used to the man in my life, even when we skip the sex part, its still so much other things to do and think about.

About guy# 2..he is a good man but some people just have different values. Too curious to be with just one woman.
I have tried to stop thinking about him and keeping myself away from the things which reminds me of him. I try to work when I am not around my boyfriend. Sad part is I will be 30 in 28th of this month. I will have another post for that

I know I deserve the whole "combo" relationship and can't figure out what is wrong. I do hope for the best.
take it easy girls..and write back!!