I'm 22yr male ok to date 17yr female????? - Relationship Health Message Board

AcIntegraLS · 04-17-2003, 05:59 PM

Well last saturday went to a party of a college friend. She had her friends over, and one happens to be a attractive young lady I def noticed. After the night goes on, we end up talking somehow and to cut it short, it ends up she don't want me to leave, I stay all night and we sleep together on the couch. Just did a little kissing. Thing is she is only 17 and I'm 22 and I feel like im robbin the craddle. Some people say its ok, some tease me. I have talked to her daily since the day we met and hung out a few times. She is a really cool chick and I dont wanna move to fast since she is young...what'd u do???

thx

AcIntegraLS · 04-17-2003, 06:48 PM

I met her mom and dad briefly and she has told them how old I am. I'll just play it slow and see how it goes

thanks for the reply...

EddieDean · 04-17-2003, 09:12 PM

I think you are wise to play it slow, and not just for legal reasons. The two of you are in totally different stages of life. She's most likely still in high school, dealing with things like algebra and what to wear to the prom. Your concerns are things like graduating from college, getting a job, and paying for a car and a house. I think you are smart to only be dating casually and not to take things too quickly or too seriously.

Personally, I can't fathom wanting to date someone so much younger then you at your age. I'm 23 and I am a COMPLETELY different person then I was at 18. What is it about her that makes her so attractive? Is she especially mature for her age? I have a good friend who just turned 21 and is dating a senior in high school. He's receiving a lot of teasing about it, especially since he passed up a chance to date a really cute girl his own age who goes to college with him (his girlfriend is across the country). He's angry that his parents and her parents have a problem with it, but I think that's a factor you need to consider when choosing a dating partner. You have to realize that many people will think you are taking advantage of her age, and that you are old enough to know better then to seduce someone who is barely old enough to drive. That's not to say they are RIGHT, but getting teased is inevitable if you consider the circumstances.

In any case, this is totally YOUR decision and YOUR life...it's wrong for me to say that anything is black or white because different people work differently! I wish you the best of luck, your intentions seem pure and your heart seems to be in the right place.

plm10467 · 04-24-2003, 08:18 PM

I was 17 when I met my husband. He was 30 and he is now 35 and I am going on 22. Be careful but always follow your heart. I was also very mature for my age. I was a legal adult at 17 living on my own working and going to college. It depends on your motives and her motives. Follow your heart but be careful.

Audrey-B · 04-26-2003, 10:11 PM

The other posters have given you very sound and valid advice regarding legal ramifications, going slow, getting parental approval etc etc.

I'd just like to add that a 5 yr age gap is nothing. Everybody is different. I myself at 17 couldn't tolerate guys my own age as they were far too immature and boring. I'm not talking about sex either, just having a conversation was difficult with most teenage guys. My mother on the other hand could never imagine herself with somebody 5 yrs older than her, she considered them "old" whereas i on the other hand would go on average 10 yrs older or 5 yrs younger. It depends on your personality, mentality and attitude. (so long as she's not using you as an image thing to impress her friends at school, as in "i got with an older guy" type thing)