Depressed..rejected by girl - Relationship Health Message Board

Andrew29 · 06-20-2003, 05:19 PM

There is this girl I like that goes to my school, and It took me a while to build my confidence to ask her out on a date, but she said she didn't want to get into a relationship because she is moving. I'm very very depressed about this. Like, I'm not a guy that dates very often, so when I do come close to getting a girlfriend, it's a real big emotional ride for me; I have a low self-esteem as it is (acne). My last two attempts that I tried to get a girl also failed. However, i was VERY optimistic that this time would be different. I really thought that we would get together and I felt so much better about myself and much happier. Now that she has rejected me, I'm absolutely devestated. I know there are other girls out there, but like i said, I don't date very often, so I'm still going to have feelings for her for a while, even though we won't ever talk again; we both JUST graduated high school. The thing is, I never actually got to ask her out directly. I had a friend do it for me because he sees her at school much more often than I do. I wish I could have talked to her because there would have been so many things that I would have liked to say. I really need some advice. I can't stop thinking about her. And after this summer, I'm not going to university or college, so it's going to be really hard for me to meet girls.

Creeping Crud · 06-20-2003, 06:32 PM

Hey Andrew,

Don't get too down on yourself.. It sounds like she had a very good reason for "rejecting" your offer.. Besides, it's probably better than you don't get overly emotionally involved with her if she's moving away.. Long distance relationships are extremely difficult to maintain, no matter how easy the concept might seem..

I know that rejection is difficult to deal with, regardless of whether or not you're male or female.. It hurts, but it also helps build character and strength in the long run.. I also realize how crushing acne can be to self esteem, but you can't let it define you as a human being.. When the right girl comes along, she's going to see you and appreciate you for who you are, not focus on your skin.. After all, nobody is perfect..

Things will get better, I promise.. You may not forget about this girl for a long time, but there are guys that I haven't seen in the 11½ years that have passed since I was in high school that I've never forgotten.. But all these years later, my acne cleared up, my self esteem improved, I met a wonderful man who loves me for who I am & who I also love dearly..

I'm not trying to be cruel by asking you this, but did you even know this girl very well? Just because she seemed like the perfect girl on the outside doesn't mean that she would've been the perfect girl for you.. We often create a fantasy image of a person (especially in situations of "unrequited love") that doesn't reflect who they really are, just who we want them to be..

In any event, I wish you the best of luck.. Don't be too hard on yourself.. When you finally stop looking for her, I'm sure the girl of your dreams will appear right before your very eyes..

Take Care,
Melanie