NEED ADVICE - Relationship Health Message Board

luvdablueeyes · 06-20-2003, 03:40 PM

ok so i met my supposed b/f 4 years ago... we started out foolin around n then we came to an agreement if he was more affectionate then we could have sex.. this was a yr after we first met... the day after i stopped taking his calls and didnt talk to him for about 6 months, i guess i thought he just wanted sex... at this point he was going out with this other girl that had already dated his 2 best friends... him and i remained friends and hed always ask for advice about her... eventually after almost 2 years they broke up and ever since then wed be on and off... hes told me many times he loves me and i know ive always loved him... he tells me hes confused but not about us and he tells me that hes scared to get close so at times hell push me away... sometimes things r so close to perfect and im super happy and other times he just goes into this shell and makes me miserable... i dunno what to do ... when im not w/ him im miserable also and i have yet to meet another person that can make me happy to the extent he can... ive tried to sit there and talk to him and that always goes well... but then a few days down the line its back to him in his shell... im really confused and dont know what to do.. i wanna be the loving g/f but he doesnt let me in and if he does its not for that long... HEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!

marksgirl · 06-20-2003, 07:35 PM

It sounds to me that your bf has self asteem issues. He probably thinks that you are going to break up with him after a few months and he does not want to get attached. Let him now that you are in for the long hull and that you are not going to give up on him. Try to buld up his self asteem and try to hang in there. Once he figures out that he is not going to lose you i am sure he will start to let you in. It takes time for people to trust you with thier feelings. Mabey he feels that he does not want to burden you with his feelings. I guess just keep on talking to him and eventually he will see he can trust that you are going to take them seriously and to heart. I hope this is helpful...
mearksgirl

susgan · 06-21-2003, 05:45 PM

I know you must relaly ove him, but loving someone and devoting your life to someone who can never give that back to you willingly is a TOTAL waste of your life.

I may be really wrong, but life is just too short to stay in a relationship that is a pure struggle. It may seem like you can't find happiness like you have with him 50% of the time, but that may because you have not had enought ime away from him, and the right atmosphere to meet a guy, or let the options happen.

Please remember.....LIFE is too SHORT

BE HAPPY !!!!
Do what feels good to you, and you will find others that feel good too. Good Luck

Susan