is it ok to be this sensitive? - Relationship Health Message Board

semid · 06-22-2003, 01:04 AM

Here is a question:
Let's say your talking to your gf on the phone, and while you talk to her, she doesnt listen at all. She just continue's on her online chatting w/ other people. She just goes "uh-huh" "mm-hmm"..."uh-huh" etc etc. You just get teh feel that she is not listening to you.

As a boyfriend, should you be mad?? Is it normal for a boyfriend to feel kind of "upset/wierd" that she is not listening to you when you are talking on the phone?

I'm just wondering because it does kind of make me feel kind of wierd, but I am not sure if I"m just being too sensitivie. I mean, it's no big deal....but you know..............

H.Kondriac · 06-22-2003, 01:20 AM

I think if she is busy doing something and you call, she should ask you if it's ok if she could call you back after she gets done chatting online or whatever she's doing. I think it's rude that she just pretends to listen to you. No, I don't think you are being too sensitive at all. I would feel the same way. I would let her know what you are feeling though. You don't want to keep this and whatever else you may be upset about bottled up or you may explode.

Creeping Crud · 06-22-2003, 06:08 AM

Hey semidevil,

I'd say that your feelings are perfectly normal too.. I can't relate to the boyfriend/girlfriend situation because my fiance' detests the computer, but my dad has a horrible habit of doing that to me when I call (and I have to spend money on long distance to talk to him)..

My dad plays card games while he's on the phone rather than chats, but he's just as distant & I get really tired of having one sided conversations with him.. After all, if I wanted to talk to myself, I could do that for free..

It is disrespectful and very frustrating, but can you prevent it? I don't know.. You could either ask her if she's busy when you call and/or tell her that you have to go (without any explanation of where or why because she probably won't be listening anyway) if you hear to many generic responses.. I also liked H.Kondriac's suggestion about asking her to call you back when she could give you her full attention..

In any event, if you do decide to confront her about her lack of phone etiquette, just make sure you do it face to face.. Otherwise, it's likely to go in one ear and out the other.. Good luck!

Take Care,
Melanie

rock'n'roll · 06-22-2003, 11:16 PM

if my girlfriend did that, i'd hang up on her, i'd just hang up without saying bye or anything.