Has it ever happened to any of you girls? - Relationship Health Message Board

justlikeyou · 06-20-2003, 01:24 PM

Has a guy that you really liked ever broken up with you cuz he wasnt ready for anything serious and then came back to you?

SophiaM · 06-20-2003, 01:32 PM

Well, this has just happened to me, although he has not come back yet (if ever). He started calling me though after a week of no contact but no indication of wanting to come back. Has yours expressed a desire to come back?

Audrey-B · 06-20-2003, 10:27 PM

I've not been in your particular situation, but have known people who have had this happen to them.

Some guys are afraid or don't know how to deal with a relationship once it deepens. Instead of things flowing naturally from one stage to the next and him going with the flow, he is probably afraid that you will wan't to push for commitment in the form of a future together (eg: engagement, wedding, babies). This scars the hell out of some guys and they don't have a clue how to deal with it.

I don't know what your ages are, but maybe there are still things he'd like to do with life prior to settling down. Often guys who don't have sisers or can't express things to their mothers will learn to bottle things up inside b/c they don't know how to communicate with their g/f on this particular matter. A lot of guys will ask advice from sisters and often mothers regarding relationships and g/f's.

If he wants to come back, tell him the two of you need to have an honest chat. Let him know exactly how you feel. If he becomes a yo-yo and breaks things off then comes back constantly, forget him. That's not healthy at all and you just end up on an emotional roller coaster.

If he doesn't know what he wants, then he needs to leave things alone until he possibly matures a little more, or knows where he stands in life and what he wants out of life. All the best

Creeping Crud · 06-21-2003, 09:57 AM

Hey justlikeyou,

That has, in fact, happened to me (and several of my close friends).. Unfortunately, I learned that things never seem to work out in situations like that.. Second chances are rarely worth the effort involved..

From my own experience and the experiences of my close friends, the reason that scenario most often happens is because another female enters a guy's field of vision.. Maybe he dates her, maybe he just hopes to date her, but if things don't work out, he tends to realize that he'd rather not be alone and comes crawling back to the woman he dumped (until the next hot girl comes along)..

It could have to do with a phobia of commitment, but more often than not, it doesn't.. I'm sure that some very insightful people can change their minds practically overnight about whether or not they're ready for a serious relationship, but they're probably pretty few and far between..

Just promise me that you'll be careful with your heart if you take him back, okay? He needs to prove that he's worthy of your trust and devotion before you blindly give it to him..

Take Care,
Melanie

foshizlejewizle · 06-26-2003, 01:27 PM

this may seem really mean....but if he REALLY wants to come back, then gove him like trial week or something...just to see if he is worthy. OR....say wait a month and then see if he still wants to come back. Test him a litte bit..hehe

------------------
luv y'all,
~liz~