Gift Quesiton - Relationship Health Message Board

michael813 · 08-15-2003, 08:25 AM

My gf is divorced and has 2 kids, she receives alimony and child support, therefore is on a limited budget. We are going to her cousin's wedding, who pays for the gift, my gf or me?

scotxla · 08-15-2003, 08:37 AM

i've just a few questions. how long have you been seeing each other? reading between the lines i would say you feel a bit resentful towards your g/f on this. did she ask you to pay for the gift? do you feel as if you've been shelling out for too many things?

my advice would be that, if you love her and feel she is not using you (and you can afford it), maybe you should be the one to shell out for the gift on this occasion. however, if you feel you are being taken advantage of, talk it over with her. that's the most important thing!

personally, i think that in a b/f, g/f relationship, it's better that each person pays for their own family's gifts where possible, clubbing together on some of the more expensive items. however, your g/f's financial situation puts this in a slightly different light.

michael813 · 08-15-2003, 08:43 AM

We've been together for about 7 months, no she didn't ask me to pay for the gift. In fact, she stated the opposite. I just feel a little guilty about it. Could I afford it better than her, yes. I do pay for everything when we go out. I don't think I'm resentful, although I have to examine that more closely. I'm not a frugal person by nature.

Dietprincess · 08-15-2003, 11:32 AM

(im usually on the diet boards, so please dont mind me barging in....just thought i'd check out some others, and i found your post interesting.)

Mostly, b/c....Im divorced, have 2 kids, live on social security from my ex, who passed away, and my fiance is michael

(heehee).

Here's what we do. If its my family wedding, I pay. If its his, he pays. (same for friends...unless its mutual friends, in which case, he usually does...just b/c he has more money than i do

If your girlfriend already stated she wants to pay, let her. You may want to ask one more time "are you sure, sure, you have this?"...after that, let her have her pride! single mothers are very proud of themselves when they are able to keep up

Enjoy the wedding!