Is it me? - Relationship Health Message Board

lostandconfused · 08-15-2003, 06:51 PM

Hi. I am only 19 and have only been in two real relationships but everything always seems to fall apart in the same way and i am strongly hopeing someone can give me some helpfull advice. Ill start by telling about my first relationship. I had dated her for a little over a year, everything was going fine and i could not have asked for more. It always seemed she felt the same as well. Suddendly almost over night she grew cold towards me and seemed as though she did not care. I tried over and over to talk to her about it but she always said nothing was wrong and changed the subject. A few weeks later she ended it without providing me with any reason. It took awhile but I moved on, and found someone else who made me very happy. We have been together for almost a year now and things were going great. However, about a mounth ago things began slowing down. She completely lost intreast in anything sexual. That I could deal with and tried to over look it, but now about 2 weeks ago it has gotten worse. All the little things she did that let me know she cares has stoped. Phone calls from her have drop by 80% and it just seems as though she does not care. I try to talk to her about it and get nothing, and things seem to be headed the same direction my last relationship took. I am starting to think it is me, even though i cant find anything i have done wrong. If anyone can give me some advise on what may be going through her mind, or what i could do to help this i would be very greatfull. Thanks guys

poreoilyme · 08-15-2003, 09:31 PM

I think it's perfectly natural at your age for people to get restless and want to move on to another relationship, especially after a year. These are the years when people explore a lot to find what they want, and also when hormones are at a peak and they are driven for excitement. Settling down at your age is not very common, and your relationships seemed to have reached a point of comfort that probably motivated these girls to go out and test more waters. It's nothing to do with any fault on your part, it's just biology. Hang in there and I'm sure you'll find more people in the ensuing years who are more apt to settle down and stay in a relationship once they've dated a while and are seeking security more than temporary thrills.

I'm sure you're a great guy just as you are. Don't take it too personally.

[This message has been edited by poreoilyme (edited 08-15-2003).]

roni624 · 08-15-2003, 09:40 PM

I have to agree with Poreoilyme. When I was that age I did the same thing to a guy I was dating. He was so nice and never did anything wrong. I was just bored and wanted to experience something new in my life. -Roni

[This message has been edited by roni624 (edited 08-16-2003).]

GriffinS09 · 08-15-2003, 10:34 PM

Yup, Yup. I agree with the above.

If you don't 100% love the person you are with, it's like waking up to the same cerial every morning. After a while, it get's boring!

lostandconfused · 08-15-2003, 11:12 PM

Wow just reading that hurt. I understand what everone is saying but i guess that is just not the way i am. I dont see how someone could get bored of someone they love. But thanks to everyone help replyed, it helpes.