Depression over relationship - Relationship Health Message Board

didee · 08-17-2003, 05:02 AM

Hi, can anyone offer me some advice. I was in a long term gay relationship and one morning my partner told me it was over and she was leaving me for her 1st cousin (a male). I was shocked a devistated, however there was nothing I could do. This was 5 months ago. Since then we have become best friends, but I just cannot seem to move on. Her relationship with her cousin ended and now she is on to a new man. I however seem to just get lower and lower. I don't want to get back with her, but I just cannot seem to get a grip on relality. I meet other women, but to me they are just extremely butch and not my type. I am 42 years old and my ex partner was my first gay partner. I am now thinking that I will never find another partner and this is making me worse. Can any one help with getting over this problem. Thank you so much

ellekay · 08-17-2003, 06:06 AM

We all go through times like that where we believe we'll never move on and meet another person. Reality of that is you will. You have to train yourself a little though. Get this girl outa your life completly. once you've done that, things will seem real agian and you'll be able to place things in percpective.If she stays in your life, you'll never move on.Dont go looking for love.....let it find you. There's no rush. remember whats written will happen, whether you go out there or not. Its called destiny....believe in it. Good luck.

didee · 08-17-2003, 06:34 AM

thanks ellekay, I know it's only an excuse, but she also has 3 kids whom I am very close to and we discussed not seeing eachother but it would break their hearts, they have had too many losses in their young lives already...one still cries himself to sleep because I am not there....but what you say is true and I am sure that in time my extremely low self esteem will return and then I can move on. Looking for love will not happen I know that even though I am going crazy looking, cannot seem to help myself, but I also know that I am not ready yet. Thank you for you kind words....I have taken them in and will try and start again.

ellekay · 08-17-2003, 10:52 PM

I know that it would be extremely difficult on those kids, but some things in life we cannot control. i wish that wasnt the case but it is.
Its a tough situation because children are involved and its hard when we get attached to ppl in our lives when they cant stay forever. I talk from experience cuz i've been hurt, but i now know that nothing and no one is forever. When the kids are older they'll understand. right now dont think about anyone but yourself. You have to be selfish in a time like this.
Good luck.