nzblue

He replied to my add I said I was looking for a relationship.
Things went alright BUT he was never around weekends said it was work, child commitments and that he like to go out with mates on fridays He said he had to take clients out every second Saturday night for dinner.
We went out for two years with a couple of breakups all caused because I felt he was not letting me into his life eg: friends and family and I found it hard seeing him on a Thursday then not again until Sunday he did take the time to come and see me saturday afternoons for coffee.
He always new I wanted more as my add said relationship commitment.
On the last breakup I meet some girls and started going out, we then got back together and I said what is good for the goose is good for the gander as I did not know he was going to these over 28 singles places He lead me to belive he just went to a pub for a drink. I only found out when I started to go out with the girls and found him at one when he was having his children for the weekend I was upset because in the first year I sat at home because he was not avaible and he would try to encrouge me to go out with work mates for a drink on fridays..SO..
He said tell me where you go so I dont go to the same place as all his mates are single....later that changed to I thought you were going to go out for coffee and dinner things like that with the girls.
We had got back together because he relised he had overlooked the fact that I woulded to be involved in his family and he said he would make an effort to make things work and he would also make an effort to spend at least one weekend night with me.

He stopped going out recently but said he just didn't feel like it and I would still go out with the girls then go to his place after.

I cracked it (pre mentsral)I was sick of him telling me I need to fix myself up for my old age.... buy a house with my children... or rent a place with the view of making it my home for the next 3-4 years also that I should sit at home and knit nothing he ever said had a future for us. I felt we where here and now now the only thing we ever planned together was where to go on our next weekend trip. I wanted to talk of our future.

It has now been over a month the first 2 weeks we spent just as much time together as normal But he said the relationship was over that I had hurt him by calling it off He said he was just waiting for me to stop going out and he was thinking about settling down with me.
He stalked me a few times until I caught him out twice in one week and confornted him.
He has only ever told me he loves me when we have broken up almost like its safe to tell her how I feel I am not in a relationship with her.
He told me He loves me the person and he siad you know I want you but I don't feel right inside the relationship was over.
I refused to have a casual relationship with him told him to leave me alone to get on with my life.

I love him he is a great guy in many ways hes a great father to his children and has always taken an interest in mine.
But I can't call him I have told him I want a commitment a engagment ring ...when I know commitment and marraige is one of his greatest fears.
The time before this breakup was because I wanted to get married within two years.

He is 46 I am 45


[This message has been edited by nzblue (edited 08-14-2003).]