i am 13 my bf is 17 - Relationship Health Message Board

gurlsandbois · 08-14-2003, 12:48 AM

we are in real love but i dont want him to get in truble with the law..he is leaving for the air force soon and will come back in 6 week then leave and come back evey year for 4 week..should u brake up with him or wait tell i am 18..i dont wanna hurt him because i realy do love him

roni624 · 08-14-2003, 01:16 AM

Hon...I hate to tell you this..but he is just a tad bit too old for you. Do your parents know about him? You are so young...give yourself a chance to see what else is out there. He is going to be gone and it is not fair for you (at your age) to have to wait for him to come back. There is so much of life out there you need to experience. As much as it may hurt...you may be better off calling off the relationship and continue as friends. He could use a good friend and pen pal while he is away. You never know you may stay close for many years and when the time is right something nice and legal can come out of it. Good luck to you.-Roni

[This message has been edited by roni624 (edited 08-14-2003).]

kbunch · 08-14-2003, 07:51 AM

I must agree with roni. If your parents know about him, they must know how wrong it is. You are just entering your teenage years and he is almost entering his adult years. There is a huge difference on a maturity level.

As being a 17 year old myself, I find it very disturbing. In most states, 17 is legal, therefore you are ILLEGAL, he can go to jail because of the recent law change.

Word of advice: Date someone your own age!!!

HoosierBj · 08-14-2003, 08:33 AM

You can love someone and delay being with them. I don't want you to think that any one is telling you that your feelings for him don't mean anything, because they do!!!
But even if you were both 17 loving someone doesn't mean you have to become physically involved with them.

If a 17 year old man truly loves you:

1) He wouldn't be mentioning or pushing a physical relationship at all - it is illegal!
2) He wouldn't be talking about you both seeing ONLY each other and no one else - it is unfair to you!
3) He would be seeing you in group situations - at your parent's house, group dates, etc.

I agree that 13 & 17 is a pretty big hurdle - and much more unfair to you than to him.
If it is meant to be, and if there isn't more than ONE man in the whole world that you can fall in love with, then think about the fact that 20 & 24 doesn't seem like quite as big a hurdle!

Have fun, laugh with your friends... There is so much time in the world for you to pair off and get so serious!!

jasmine30 · 08-14-2003, 09:29 AM

Honey,

You are 13 years old.You are a child,a baby!If you were my daughter,you would NOT be dating at that age PERIOD!

Focus on school,sports,shopping etc...I started shaving my legs at 13 and wasnt worried about"real love".

You have no idea what the concept of real love is.Stay away from boys that will hurt you,dont get involved heavily with them.And for gosh sakes if your going to have sex talk to your Mother about getting you some BC,but then have you fully reached Puberty???