Can anyone move on this fast? - Relationship Health Message Board

butterfly2003 · 09-25-2003, 12:25 AM

Hi, I posted awhile ago about my ex of 5 years. I realize that I have really beat it into the ground. I have talked about my ex here and with all my friends so much that they are really getting sick of it, however I still have questions. It's pretty general: Is is normal for someone to move on really fast after a really long relationship? We went out for 5 years, and had our share of problems. I thought we could get through it, however for the last 2 months we were together, he was not happy. He dumped me and immediately starting dating another girl(and when I say immediately I mean the day after, or earlier) I still love him, and care for him. However it was really simple for him to ditch me to be with another girl. Is this a normal thing to do? I realize that men have problems with communication, but why didn't he just tell me he felt so strongly about our problems. The break-up was completely out of the blue for me! Has anybody moved on this quickly? Does it work? How is it even possible? I know I couldn't form a strong, healthy relationship right now. Any replies would be greatly appreciated!

cloverberry · 09-25-2003, 03:45 AM

Well if he was unhappy for the last two months of your relationship it really wasn't moving on instantly. Try not to let this guy ruin it for you in the future. The guy was a jerk for not telling you he wasn't happy and out of the blue breaking up with you. Some people are like that. They hang on to the people they have until something better comes along. I'm sorry you got mixe up with one.

stolie · 09-25-2003, 05:23 AM

Butterfly,

Same thing happened to me five years ago. After 4 years of friendship and 18 months of dating, the last 12 of which we lived together - we both moved to separate cities after college about 300 miles apart. She broke up with me and within a week had asked another guy out. I was furious. I felt like she kept me hanging around until she was fairly certain this guy would say "yes" or would ask her out if she was single again. I even believe that she probably discussed it with him before breaking up with me (ie, ``I'm in a relationship, but I'll break up with him and we can start dating") No, things weren't perfect for us at the time. But I felt totally blindsided and betrayed. She gave no hints it was coming. I remain friends with her to this day, but I think she suffers from extremely weak character and I haven't dated since. There are other factors for this, but at the time I was so devastated and felt so betrayed I vowed never to trust a woman again. It was terrible and I can totally relate to what you're going through. Best of luck!
Dave

HoosierBj · 09-25-2003, 06:58 AM

There are a couple of other possibilities to throw out there:
It's possible that the ex was already dating, or getting to know, the new person BEFORE the break-up even happened,
and
There are alot of people who just cannot stand to be alone. Without a relationship they seem to think they are no one and they get involved in a rebound relationship. Then they don't have to think about what went wrong and what part they had to play in it.

I know there are other reasons out there, howzabout it gang??

TeTr01 · 09-25-2003, 11:29 AM

n/t

[This message has been edited by TeTr01 (edited 10-08-2003).]