'You look okay' - Relationship Health Message Board

backtomyoldself · 09-24-2003, 10:14 PM

What does this phrase mean exactly? (YOU LOOK OKAY)

I am just baffled. In the past, I have mentioned that I told a guy I liked him and he rejected me. And when I asked if it was my looks, he said, no and that 'I look okay.' I think it was a means to be polite.

What do you all think? Please be honest.

Kimianne · 09-25-2003, 01:41 PM

Hi:

I reread your last post on this subject. And I know it's very hard when you feel like you do not have concrete answers from someone.

But as people were saying there: it really does sound like a chemistry thing.

You need to let this go for your own sake.

Good luck and God bless you.

------------------
Kimi
Life is a gift. Your loved ones are the benefits.
Respect them both and you will reap the rewards.

maryett · 09-25-2003, 03:54 PM

I've been there, done that and my advice is to not even bother trying to figure it out. Don't torment yourself any further. It really doesn't help anyway, because what this guy might not like you for another guy will.

backtomyoldself · 09-25-2003, 04:21 PM

You are both right.

I have let him go a long while. However, what bothers me is that usually the guys I like does not reciprocate my interest (the one's who come to me are the one's I normally would not date, and yes, I have been nice enough to give it a try and it just does not work out in the end). Because this happens quite often, it is starting to make me think. Why do guys I like think I look okay....and personally, they do not even look that great. I do not intend this post to be vain, I am just one inquisitive gal. Argh! Rereading this post makes it seem like I am going on like a yo yo.

I guess it is obvious that I am not totally over him, but that I made some progress since my last post about him. I just cannot accept the fact that the guy who I thought would be unique happens to be of a different mind. Oh well. Surprises, surprises. Don't you love life?

Magnetic · 09-25-2003, 06:42 PM

Well, to be honest, when a guy says "you look ok", it typically means he does not find you all that attractive. If he felt you were physically beautiful, he would most likely say that you were beautiful or very attractive. This doesn't mean he thinks you are ugly, and it doesn't mean by any means that you _are_ ugly. Different guys (and gals) find differnent things in potential mates that makes them uniquely attractive to them. While there is a universal standard of beauty, there are a lot of sub-elements to beauty. I remember once being around a girl who was so physically beautiful I was speechless around her the first few times. After I got to know her, and found she was not an angel by any means, her beauty affected me less and less until it had no impact on me at all. I have also found women who nearly gagged me at first, and after I got to know them, seem much more attractive.

I guess what I am trying to say is that no single person can decide if you are physically beautiful or not. Beauty helps to get the guy, but it won't keep him. Chances are this boy was fine with your looks but that chemistry was not just there for him. Next time, simply be who you are and don't be concerned about your looks.