My turn, guys and gals please reply. - Relationship Health Message Board

TomsWife · 09-25-2003, 12:38 PM

This is going to be quite long so this is just a heads up.
I was married for almost 20 years and with him for for a total of 23 years.
Ok, scratch the long post thing and just ask me questions as we go along.
I cant seem to get this man out of my head. I mean, I dont love him like a husband anymore but I still have feelings for him.
This isnt going to work, I think I need to talk to someone about this. How do you stop loving someone even though you dont want to be with them? I think I dislike him more than I like him. God this sounds so crazy....... I cant collect my thoughts here.
Maybe I will try and post again later......

Kimianne · 09-25-2003, 12:46 PM

Hi there:

Are you divorced? If so how long?

I am not really sure what you are asking. Love and like are two different things. But if you do not like him you really shouldn't be with him. I can't see how that would work.

Give us more information so we can help.

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Kimi
Life is a gift. Your loved ones are the benefits.
Respect them both and you will reap the rewards.

TomsWife · 09-25-2003, 12:51 PM

Kimi,
thanks for helping me get the ball rolling here. We have been seperated for a couple of years and divorced a year ago last summer. He decided that he just wasnt happy being married anymore. I believe that he is and was going through a mid life crisis. We did go to counceling for a few months and the dr agreed with me about the mid life crisis. The dr ended up firing us because my x did not take ANY of his suggestions. I think what is bothering me most is that I never did get closure in the marrage. For the past year or so, I was feeling better but about a week ago, my x bought a house RIGHT AROUND the corner from me. I was literally driving by there everyday before I knew he moved there. I think I am going nuts.

Kimianne · 09-25-2003, 01:03 PM

Hi again:

My heart goes out for you. It is very hard to get over this kind of situation.

Another question, did you like him when you were together and dislike come during seperation time?

When people seperate there are a lot of hurtful things that happen. They hard to get over.

I would have to ask why he bought a house so close to you? I just bought a house last summer and I really wanted to live in a town that I had lived in for a long time with my ex. However, I did not even look at that town as he still lived there and was not going to be a good situation. It just doesn't make sense to me that he would buy a house that close to a woman that he shared so many years with and that had been severed.

That's really about all of the input into this situation that I can think of at the moment.

But there are a lot of very wise and helpful people on this board.

Good luck and God bless you.

------------------
Kimi
Life is a gift. Your loved ones are the benefits.
Respect them both and you will reap the rewards.

TomsWife · 09-25-2003, 01:15 PM

Quote:
other question, did you like him when you were together and dislike come during seperation time?

When people seperate there are a lot of hurtful things that happen. They hard to get over.

I would have to ask why he bought a house so close to you? I just bought a house last summer and I really wanted to live in a town that I had lived in for a long time with my ex. However, I did not even look at that town as he still lived there and was not going to be a good situation. It just doesn't make sense to me that he would buy a house that close to a woman that he shared so many years with and that had been severed
End Quote:
I was blind sided about the separation. I thought everything was going fine in our relationship. Ie: home life, family (one son) and sex life.
I have no idea why he would buy a house so close. I really need some help here.