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Old 11-03-2010, 07:20 AM   #1
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In love with my boyfriends brother

I really don't know wat to do, i'm 23 & my boyfriend is 33. We have been together for 2 yrs, his brother is 26 & he moved in with my boyfriend 2 months ago. I love my boyfriend very much & i have never cheated in my entire life, his brother is funny & very attractive. Whenever his around or i see him i get this feeling inside me & i'm all happy just by seeing his face. I can't stop thinking about him, i don't know if i'm just being paranoid but i can't stop thinking about the way he looked at me the other day. He hasn't said anything & even if he does i know that i can never cheat on my boyfriend or leave him for his own brother, but why am i having these feelings about this guy? It's like he's with me everywhere i go, even at work i think about him.

 
Old 11-03-2010, 07:39 AM   #2
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Re: In love with my boyfriends brother

First off, you can't be "in love with" someone that you really don't know. You see this guy sometimes, he makes you laugh, he's closer to your age, he's new and fresh. But you don't know him, you have not been out on dates with him, you don't live with him, you have no idea how he would react in certain situations or what his favorite movie is or what he likes to read or if he leaves the cap off the toothpaste or how he treats women he dates or anything else.

The reason you are thinking about him is more like a "crush" situation. He appeals to something in you - he's cute, or he's funny, or something that you don't get from your bf. Once you discover what it is that makes him attractive to you, then you may be able to get rid of the feelings. Just remind yourself that sure, he may be cute or funny, but you love your bf and you would never want to jeapardize that. If you can't get past it, then you need to break up with your bf and stop seeing him and his brother.

 
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Old 11-03-2010, 11:20 AM   #3
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Re: In love with my boyfriends brother

Very dangerous territory you are treading on. You don't want to ruin their relationship nor yours with your boyfriend. This could be nothing more than an infatuation or crush and will subside in a month or two. If the feelings are still there, then you need to re-evaluate how you really feel about your current boyfriend. It could be since he is 10 years older than you that you have more in common with his brother. You are probably too young right now to make such a serious committment with your boyfriend.

 
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Old 11-03-2010, 02:03 PM   #4
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Re: In love with my boyfriends brother

What you are feeling is temporary passion; and no it’s not unusual or problematic to fantasize about an attractive, somewhat exciting new man. It only becomes a problem if you choose to act upon it.
Often, people want what they can’t have. It’s very tempting to continue the “chase” , however once this goal is met , the thrill is gone -- as well as your boyfriend .
Reality Check: Don’t destroy your own happiness by attempting to improve your self-esteem with someone else.
I am positive the brother has a number of faults. Find them and he probably won’t be all that “exciting” any longer.

 
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Old 11-04-2010, 05:17 AM   #5
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Re: In love with my boyfriends brother

Wow, you're in a very tight situation. Most of us wouldn't like to be in your shoes, but at the same time isn't it thrilling and exciting to find yourself in love with someone else, even if this is just a crush, wildfire, whatever? You're alive, that's it!

I guess it'll be very difficult for you to overcome your lust for this man if you see him every day, unless something happens, like you find out he's a jerk, a drug dealer, a snob, whatever, that would make him a poor choice in terms of dating, if anything.

You say you love your boyfriend, but apparently you aren't in love with him any more. What has happened that made you drift away from each other? Or are you just being susceptible to the good looks and humor of this younger man?

Anyway, I seem to agree with the poster who said you're probably too young to commit to a serious relationship. Maybe you need a break to go and look for the real you. Perhaps you need to date more guys or concentrate on other areas of your life.

If you break up with your current boyfriend, you'll be hurt and you'll hurt him, but at least you will be true to him and yourself.

A tough call, from any side you look at it.

 
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