Hi, I am lesbian and I am in a relationship with a girl which is same sex for a year and a half now. Im currently living in Australia and my girlfriend is in Japan. In Japan, I have lots of friends, and they all know that I am lesbian and when I went to Japan with by myself for holidays my Grandfather/grandmother and Aunties and Uncles knew that I am lesbian, they can tell it from what I was wearing. I really looked like a guy with my short hair and guys clothes. They ddnt have any problems with it so far and I'm so happy about it.
But, Here in Australia. I feel so depress and Lonely, I dressed up as a Girl, act like a girl, because of my parents wanting me to change what I really am. They want me to be a Girl. Its so difficult for me, Im really not comfortable with others cause I couldn't express what is really Me. A Lesbian. I do not have many friends here in Australia. yes I know lots of them but we are not really close and we do not hang out. There is only 3 person who knows about who is really me. and they accept it. They're the only ones who knew what I feel , and also about my girlfriend in Japan.
My girlfriend in Japan doesn't know what i've been going through here in Australia, She thought that everyone here knows that I am lesbian. I don't want her to know cause i will be so ashamed.
I tried to tell my mom what I really feel that I am attracted to a women not to a men and the fact that I am lesbian. That it is really me and i am lesbian for like almost 7 years till now. But she ignore what i was telling her. She told me that my feelings will change that its still developing and she do not want me to be a lesbian she wanted me to be a straight girl, she wants me to dress like a girl she always made me wear a dress and a girl clothes. She wanted me to broke up with my girlfriend.
I feel so upset about it, I really cried in front of her while me keep saying that this is really me and explaining how I feel. But, still now nothing change.
I am so sick about whats going on me, I want to be comfortable with others here In australia, Im really not comfortable with them cause they do not know what is truth behind me. I am afraid on what they will say if ever they know about it.
I do not hang out with everyone here in Australia cause I am so sick of acting like a girl.
I want to be just me. And I am so depress.
But now, i have decided that in 2011 I want some changes. I want to express the real me I want to tell my friends who is really me, and I want to have friends who accept who is really me. and i dont know what should i do to my parents for them to accept me.
I am really scared and afraid
I dont know what will happen to me if this continues to happen. People please give some suggestion. How will I tell this to my friends. To my parents which ive tried to tell them before but they only ignore it.