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Old 12-27-2010, 08:22 AM   #1
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One side of the family openly racist, what would you say?

I see my Dad's side of the family once per year. They are racists. They are always using the N word and talking badly about African American's, Hispanics, and anyone else who isn't a white redneck. This is my Dad's brother's children and their spouses.

This year, my cousin's husband showed me a picture of a mentally challenged boy (called him a "retard") wearing a t-shirt that says "At Least I'm Not a N*****" I thought that he was going to show me a picture of his children, that is why I looked at his phone when he put it up to my face. I just rolled my eyes and said "that is terribly offensive." He just laughed.

They are extremely offensive in just about every way possible. My uncle isn't so bad, he just keeps his mouth shut but the rest of them are awful. I always leave ASAP.

There have been a couple of years when I have said something but they flat out say they don't care, that this is how they are, that they have good reason to be racists and make no apologies for it. I haven't said anything about it in about the last 3 years.

What would you do or say in this situation?

 
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Old 12-27-2010, 08:24 AM   #2
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Re: One side of the family openly racist, what would you say?

at least it's only once a year......
just do what you did.....don't humor them, tell them it's offensive, but don't egg them on to argue.
just realize that some people are just plain ignorant and that's hard to change.

 
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Old 12-27-2010, 08:29 AM   #3
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Re: One side of the family openly racist, what would you say?

I think you're handling it as best you can. Let them know you don't like their jokes, and next time someone tries to show you a picture or something that's offensive, just tell them "Please don't show me anything like that again. I don't find it amusing. thanks." And leave it at that.

No, you're not going to change them, no sense in trying. That kind of hatred and bigotry goes way beyond ignorace. Ignorance is cured with education, but you can educate these people till the cows come home, it won't change them. It goes much deeper than that. Be thankful it's only once a year, spend as little time as possible with them, don't humor them and be glad when you get to come home.

 
Old 12-27-2010, 09:10 AM   #4
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Re: One side of the family openly racist, what would you say?

I would never go around them again. Even only once a year is too much to deal with that kind of ignorance.

 
Old 12-27-2010, 10:45 AM   #5
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Re: One side of the family openly racist, what would you say?

very immature people. tell them to grow up.

 
Old 12-28-2010, 02:29 PM   #6
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Re: One side of the family openly racist, what would you say?

When I do say something, it does no good and just starts an argument but if I don't say anything, I feel like I'm tacitly agreeing. I feel like I should be more grown up and able to control my emotions better than this.

 
Old 12-28-2010, 03:15 PM   #7
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Re: One side of the family openly racist, what would you say?

they won't change , they are too sucked into the immaturity of been cruel against colour. they have done it for so long so no matter what you say or do it probably won't change. just be grateful you only have to hear it once a year i think i remember you saying but then again you dont have to hear as you don't have to see them. they really need to grow up shame they have not yet.

 
Old 12-28-2010, 03:39 PM   #8
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Re: One side of the family openly racist, what would you say?

I guess you just have to say "please don't use that language in front of me", or "I don't appreciate those comments", or maybe you need to get a little stronger in your language. How do you think they would react if you said something like: "when you say things like that, it really shows your ignorance"

keep in mind that i don't know if it will make a difference, but it will at least make you feel better!

 
Old 12-28-2010, 03:52 PM   #9
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Re: One side of the family openly racist, what would you say?

they won't change no matter what you try and do....you cannot change people unless they want to be changed...I learned that the hard way. So if it was me in your situation, I would not go to see them anymore even if it is once a year. You shouldn't surround yourself with people who make you feel uncomfortable and who say such terrible things about others. Just my 2 cents

 
Old 12-29-2010, 10:59 AM   #10
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Re: One side of the family openly racist, what would you say?

You only see them one a year? I'd say either don't see them again, and hang out with the other side of your family. Honeslty....racists of ANY race annoy me...if you (they) have to hang on so hard to your (their) race, then clearly you (they)have very little else to hang onto. And I pity that. I mean, learn about your people---culture, language, cooking, dance--- but don't discriminate others, people can't pick their race. (Again, speaking generally, I knw you don't discrminate)

Honestly, either just tell them that you guys need to talk about something else (ie work, school, fashion...anything neutral) or you're not coming back. Or you could just not go. I they clal you a name like N word lover or something... well, so you're a lover not a hater. I like love, not hate. won't make a difference, they'll still probably call you a race traitor or something, but their words are the worst they can do.

 
Old 12-29-2010, 08:53 PM   #11
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Re: One side of the family openly racist, what would you say?

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. They're just baiting you because they know you despise what they are. Avoid them whenever you can.

wb

 
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