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Old 12-27-2010, 09:13 AM   #1
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Online dating?

So I want to try one. I live in a foreign country and it is a little more difficult meeting people. I am in Germany. I am tired of going out to bars. I dont feel embaressed or anything..seems to be much more popular these days. Can anyone offer advice? thanks.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 12-27-2010 at 09:24 AM.

 
Old 12-27-2010, 09:04 PM   #2
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Re: Online dateing service? Good one?

Well, I don't think we're allowed to talk about specific sites here, but the ones you hear advertised most commonly will probably be your best bet. You might want to try a couple at the same time, put more bets on the table so to speak. Keep your standards while still being open, be honest, discerning, and have a thick skin. And good luck.

 
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:20 PM   #3
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Re: Online dateing service? Good one?

6 of one. . . they're all pretty much crap.
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:37 PM   #4
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Re: Online dateing service? Good one?

In my personal experience, you get the most out of an online dating site if you are very specific about what you want. That way, you don't waste your time...or the other person's time. If you won't date someone that smokes cigarettes, say so. If you prefer someone of a certain ethnicity, or religion, say so. It's a trade-off, of course...the more exact you are, the less responses you'll get, but if you have definite wants then they need to go in the ad because otherwise you're just going to not be interested in them later when you find out they have some trait that's on your list of "definitely not".

I have a friend who is trying the online dating thing right now, and she's so disappointed because she keeps getting these guys she would never consider dating answering her ad. But she feels like she would be "mean" if she were to get more specific. Well, to me it's meaner to just not answer someone's response to your ad. Better to let them weed themselves out when they see they aren't compatible with you in the first place.

 
Old 12-28-2010, 05:35 PM   #5
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Re: On line dating service? Good one?

well,I've been married for 30+ years, so cant tell you about on line dating services. never used one. my suggestions would be to, go to places/events that interest you and others of the same interests. "ie" health clubs, gyms, sporting events, anyplace that people your age congregate. who enjoy the same things. carry yourself confident and content don't come off as arrogant or supreme, just be yourself, not to impress but to mingle with others. you'll meet people who like the same things as you? yes that may include bars at times, I met my wife at a bar in 1977 introduced to me by an old friend I'd dated once or twice, we been together ever since. you don't have to be the life of the party, but you don't want to be a fly on the wall either! join in the crowd and have fun there are alot of weirdos on line, people can say what they want to say, be what they wish they were, and yet not be who or what they really are! please be carefull if you decide to pursue this further?

good luck and god bless

Larry/coupe
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Old 12-29-2010, 09:48 AM   #6
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Re: Online dateing service? Good one?

Im not going to name or post a link to a specific dating site, but honestly.....I've done one. And I met a few very nice men, but most importantly....it (indiriectly.... found a friend then got introduced to someone) led me to meet my husband of 4+ years. Just keep trying them. Word to the wise...the one I used was free, so don't feel like you have to pay yearly memberships for like seven of them. Good luck.

 
Old 12-29-2010, 05:27 PM   #7
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Re: Online dateing service? Good one?

Thanks for the replies. It is kind of funny becuase back in my life where I am from I never would consider this becasue I had so many friends and oputrunities. Until you get to a situation in your life where you dont know anyone it is really hard to fathom these routes. The way I think about it now is not maybe so much of meeting the 'one' orthe girl online, but that it would lead me to sitations where I would make freinds and potentially a girl whom I would want to be with. I started to create a profile today and then when I was doing some seaches I found some who I work with and it made think o crap anyone can see me on these sites! I dont know if I want that. I might just stick to the bar scene or try some other things. I am going to do some intramural sports and try some other things here soon.

 
Old 12-29-2010, 06:41 PM   #8
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Re: Online dateing service? Good one?

Most don't make you post a picture. It can be an asset to the weeding out process but, as a female, the one thing I like in a man is a bit of a backbone. Someone who'd be willing to take a chance initially without a picture.

You can then share pictures off line before meeting and allow that initial weeding out to begin!

I agree on the issue. Not only privacy, but other fun. I also saw a co-worker up on one and it was kind of depressing. I was just starting using the service and there he was...one of the grossest, most disgusting, depressing men I'd ever worked with. Honest, he was a man....and adult man....who still whined if he didn't get his way. It made me question what sort of journey I was in for. But overall, I would say I enjoyed the year and would recommend people try it. Your skin thickens a bit and you learn a tad more about what you are made of. And you might just have some fun and actually meet someone.

 
Old 12-29-2010, 06:57 PM   #9
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Re: Online dateing service? Good one?

Yep, I've seen people that I know on the online dating sites as well. It can be embarrassing.

I had my time on these sites, . . . wasted a couple hundred dollars on "no one being interested". Same as in the "real world". That's what I discovered. If you're not a good catch off-line, . . . you probably won't be ON-line either. I am still on "that free one", . . . but it has been a bust as much as any others. Just don't have to pay for "no one being interested", so no harm there.

You can do the bar scene, . . . but also, look on-line for possible groups that get together to do an activity you have as a hobby. This can be a bit tricky. Your city may not have such groups, but it doesn't hurt to do a search.

Anyway, good luck.
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Old 12-29-2010, 08:18 PM   #10
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Re: Online dateing service? Good one?

Online social sites that are free, with with hundreds of millions users are as good if not better than as any online dating service. I belong to a few online addiction recovery sites and I know of at least five or six relations started that way. Three marriages I do know of.

 
Old 01-02-2011, 07:50 AM   #11
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Re: Online dating?

I tried an online dating website, which wasn't one of the popular ones. It was more geared toward my age group (20s). In my experience, you have to weed through a lot of people until you find the right one. I went on several dates with guys who were not interested in a relationship, which of course bothered me. I didnt see the point of being on a dating site if you weren't looking for a relationship. However, after the third guy, I met the guy I have been dating for the past 5 months.

I say go for it, its just another outlet to meet people. Good luck!

 
Old 01-02-2011, 04:17 PM   #12
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Re: Online dating?

Thanks for the replies. I have been trying one for a couple of days now. I did as someone else suggested and made my photos private so I can send when requested. I have had a couple of responses. One girl whom lives in my area not really sure if she is looking to date or just meet people. I am fine either way as I am both looking for friends and realtionships. It is kind of fun, but it doesnt seem like there is that many people on it in the area that I am in.

 
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