Re: losing my head
You're human, and anger is a natural human emotion. I think it's only natural to feel agressive and angry toward people who have wronged us. It hurts to be betrayed or to be let down by someone you were counting on. What matters is what you DO with those feelings. Those feelings are telling you that you don't want those things to happen again. And since the only person we can control is ouselves, you need to use the anger as a guide of sorts. What was it about the situation that didn't go the way you thought it should for you, and the part YOU played in the way it went. Did you not stand up for yourself enough? Did you not ask the right questions? Did you count on someone who has proven themselves unaccountable yet you went ahead and counted on them anyway, expecting them to be someone they're not? Use these feelings to learn what YOU did to contribute to the bad outcome, and what you can do better the next time you're faced with the situation.
And cut yourself a break. Give yourself permission to be angry for a while, as long as you don't wallow in it to the point of it being counterproductive or act out in an inappropriate or illegal way. Feel it, then envision how you would want the situation to go next time and what you can do to make it come out that way, and then work on forgiveness, and like Oprah says, forgiveness is not saying "what you did was ok." Forgiveness means accepting how things are and giving up wish that the past could have ended up differently.