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Old 12-27-2010, 08:43 PM   #1
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Does my new boyfriend really want to date my friend?

I'm in my first year of college and my boyfriend Gary is 20.

A few weeks ago, my best friend Lisa, told Gary he should ask me out. (I had a crush on him, and we had already known each other for several years) Lisa and I ran into Gary at the store, and she told him he should ask me out, even though I protested and tried to stop her.

A few days later, Gary sent my other best friend, Kelli (She's a friend of his too), to my house to ask me out for him! To make a long story short, Gary and I started double dating regulary with Kelli and her boyfriend. After about a month, I went away to college with Lisa.

I come back from college on weekends, but at first I didn't know I would be coming back every weekend, so Kelli and her boyfriend and I, had to find Gary. Kelli's boyfriend usually knew where he was, but it was still weird to have to find him. We had to do this twice. Now he waits on me and asks me out every weekend. Gary has also started calling me long distance when I'm at college. Lisa and I room together.

The problem:

The 2nd weekend Lisa and I came back from college, Kelli and her boyfriend and I went to find Gary, Lisa was with us for the first time. Lisa and I got out of the car at a gathering where Gary was standing and talking to some friends. Kelly and her boyfriend waited in the car. I walked over to Gary. We had normally been going out with Kelli and her boyfriend, but he didn't go in their direction. Instead he led me over to Lisa, and mentioned that Lisa was a really good singer. She had sang in a few competitions in high school. When we got over to Lisa, Gary starred into my eyes and said, "You have the cutest little mouth". Then Lisa made a horrible nasty comment towards me and left!

I am so confused. Is there something going on between Gary and Lisa, does he actually have a thing for her and her for him? Why would he lead me over to her instead of Kelli? And why would Lisa make a nasty commnet towards me when Gary gave me a compliment? Am I just a pawn standing between them? Lisa has a boyfriend but they have been having serious problems for a couple of weeks.

Is this why Gary went out with me in the first place, because Lisa asked him to ask me out? Help!

 
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Old 12-27-2010, 09:06 PM   #2
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Re: Does my new boyfriend really want to date my friend?

i'm unable to answer that, only them 2 know but from looks of things she might seem jealous of you. maybe she does want him, or maybe she doesnt but is jealous your boyfriend said nice comment to you and maybe her boyfriend doesnt compliment her. what was her nasty comment? if you tell us maybe we can see wether it is just jealousy or if it sounds more like somethings going on between them 2. do you think he would cheat on you? with her or any woman?

 
Old 12-27-2010, 09:49 PM   #3
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Re: Does my new boyfriend really want to date my friend?

It sounds as if there are simply too many people involved in this relationship. Why don't you just leave all the others at home, and go out just the two of you? That way you can have a chance to be alone and see for yourself how viable this relationship is for you. Not to mention simply asking him what his position is...

I do find it odd that he had another woman ask you to go out in the first place. I personally would not be interested in a man who chose not ask me out himself. The whole situation is very confusing, and I can understand why you are wondering all that you are.

Go back to the basics and see what happens. Best wishes to you!

Last edited by writeleft; 12-27-2010 at 11:53 PM.

 
Old 12-27-2010, 10:02 PM   #4
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Re: Does my new boyfriend really want to date my friend?

yeah, this whole situation just seems a bit weird, but why don't you just ASK Lisa "hey, what brought that on? Why would say such a nasty thing to me?" If she's really your friend she'll apologize and tell you what's wrong. How did Gary react when Lisa got snarky? Was he as shocked as you, or did he smile or laugh?

Yeah, too many cooks spoil the stew. Talk to Lisa and find out what bug is up her butt, and then just date Gary without all these people in the middle of it all.

 
Old 12-27-2010, 10:08 PM   #5
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Re: Does my new boyfriend really want to date my friend?

When Gary said that I had the "cutest little mouth", Lisa said, "no she doesn't, her mouth isn't cute, it's big looking". And Gary looked at her mean and said, "it isn't that big".

Kelli has never been in the middle, she has a serious boyfriend. We double date, and Gary was close friends with Kelli's boyfriend, before we went out the first time.

Why would Gary take my hand and lead my over to Lisa, and say that Lisa could sing good?

Last edited by curiousreasons; 12-27-2010 at 10:10 PM.

 
Old 12-27-2010, 11:12 PM   #6
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Re: Does my new boyfriend really want to date my friend?

I'm totally confused about what happened. You went out somewhere with Lisa and walked up to Gary and he said something about Lisa and then said something about you or what exactly? I'm totally confused.

I don't understand how any of what happened would lead you to believe there was something going on with Lisa and Gary? Where is your evidence? Commenting about someone's singing voice is hardly evidence. So what makes you think they're messing around behind your back?

And I agree with the others that you need to stop involving so many people in this relationship. Just go out with him alone and you'll avoid all of this ridiculous drama.

 
Old 12-27-2010, 11:47 PM   #7
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Re: Does my new boyfriend really want to date my friend?

stop double dating for a while, and definately keep others out of your relationship. spend time just you and gary. just because there friends or whatever does not mean they have to always be there. its not normal for loads of people to be involved in a relationship. lisa is your friend so maybe he took YOU over to say hi to her or to see what you thought of her voice like a 2nd opinion or he might want to be her friend aswell. complimenting her voice does not mean anything. her comment was childish dont let it get to you. if she says anymore comments then confront her why shes been mean or ask her about the first comment its entirely upto you how you handle it. can i ask are you jealous that he complimented her voice? i kind of sense that but not massively just slightly.

 
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