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pocky2010 12-30-2010 08:52 PM

confused then hurt
 
hi,

i knew guy less than a year. at first, i could see that he was being friendly. then my friends told me that he could be interested. he teased me. he noticed what i wore. he made fun. we went out for movie. 1st time with other friend. 2nd time only me and him but we paid our own then we went out again, he paid my share. from all sorts of things he did i could feel that we might we able to be more than friends in future. but there was once, when i sent him an image through phone (he drew sthg on the whiteboard). his immediate replied was asking me to rub it off. he did not want others to think that i miss him. he said he did not want anyone to miss him even his family..even when he is gone. sometimes later he said now he tries to concentrate on job and does not want strings attached so that he could leave without hesitation. we argued a bit over text msgs. he asked me if i trust with my life. i tried to find out his intention but he said no answer was and answer itself. he will not open up to someone who doesnt trust him completely. he put me into doubts. i tried to explain but he said too late. he needs to keep a distance. but if i still wish to be friend it is ok other wise he is fine with just being colleague. i told him NO. he ruined the bond of friendship already. but i am still confused why he suddenly acted like that and i do feel hurt as my sincere friendship to him got spoil just like that.

can anyone pls talk to me about this? sigh.

writeleft 12-31-2010 01:39 AM

Re: confused then hurt
 
pocky,

It is easy to see why you are confused...I am too! Anytime a person uses words that do not make much sense, look at their actions. They are often much easier to decipher.

His actions are telling me that he is not ready willing or able to participate in a relationship right now. He has chosen to establish his "out" before ever getting in...not someone to pursue by any means. This man is not available.

pocky2010 12-31-2010 01:46 AM

Re: confused then hurt
 
[QUOTE=writeleft;4650962]pocky,

It is easy to see why you are confused...I am too! Anytime a person uses words that do not make much sense, look at their actions. They are often much easier to decipher.

His actions are telling me that he is not ready willing or able to participate in a relationship right now. He has chosen to establish his "out" before ever getting in...not someone to pursue by any means. This man is not available.[/QUOTE]

Thank you for your reply writeleft. appreciate that.

I still do not understand why he wanted to establish the bond of friendship then later told me and done all those to me. what was his intention? I just still could not accept all these yet.

writeleft 12-31-2010 01:52 AM

Re: confused then hurt
 
His behavior is impossible to guess on...

It sounds a bit like he really flubbed up his attempt to make a connection with you. For some reason, I bet he is kicking himself over this one...but no matter.

pocky2010 12-31-2010 01:58 AM

Re: confused then hurt
 
actually i enjoyed being just friends with him if not to the further level. but since he said its ok for him if i still want to be friends or even just colleagues when anger at my edge, i rejected both. now i cant even talk to him as a colleague at work. i sensed that he was trying to avoid me at work too. sigh.


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