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Old 01-03-2011, 07:54 AM   #1
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Change in spouse’s spirituality

Sorry, this is a little long but background is needed - I think....

My husband and I have been married for 11 years. We were married in the Catholic church. When we were married, church was not a "high" priority. We did not go to church every week, did not pray together and neither of us actively read the bible. He is a musical person and participates in the choir. As the years went along, and we were blessed with children, slowly we became more regular in our church attendance.

In the past 6 months my husband has taken a more active and concentrated focus on his faith. He reads the Bible daily, daily prayer and listening to religious radio stations. He asked if we could pray together each night and has put together a family faith time every Sunday. When he asked if I would pray with him nightly, I was fine with that and I enjoy the family faith time with our children (we are working through the Bible with the Bible stories).

Here comes my issue(s). He has been changing. Not too unexpected, but, some of his comments are lingering with me and bothering me. In our discussions in the past 11 years, I was under the impression we both believed the same things. But we were not critical of other religions or "sinners". They might be "sinning" or not believing now, but could still find their way. One day, he made a comment that really has been bothering me. I do not remember the exact comment but basically that Muslims are "bad people". Really, what does their religion have to do with being a bad person! Along with this he seems to have become less accepting of people.

I am not in the same place in my faith. And with some of his "core" seeming to change, I am starting to feel some resentment. I think it is toward his focus and changes. I am happy for him to a point. But then I feel guilty about resenting his faith and focus!

Any help or insite would be great!

Last edited by Mod-S4; 01-03-2011 at 10:48 PM. Reason: Inappropriate comments removed.

 
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Old 01-03-2011, 08:15 AM   #2
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Re: Change in spouse’s spirituality

it sounds like he could be turning into a bit of a "fanatic"
that sometimes happens with people when they delve deeply into religion. Maybe you could remind him that "God" doesn't judge people and he shouldn't either.

 
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Old 01-03-2011, 06:29 PM   #3
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Re: Change in spouse’s spirituality

I just suggest remindig your husband that God sorts out everyone in the end and to leave the final judgement to Him.

Again i would like to point out Im not trying to sound judgemental of him or anything. But since it is affecting you as his wife I felt the need to suggest that God does the choosing and the "judging". Also so he doesnt get defensive, point out where you dont have issues, like that you enjoy praying together and Bible stories with the family. Just so he is clear on what the issues are, and not that you have an issue being more active in his faith. Good luck to the two of you.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 01-03-2011 at 10:51 PM. Reason: Response to deleted text removed. Please do not discuss religion, just the effect the issue is having on the relationship.

 
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Old 01-03-2011, 10:28 PM   #4
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Re: Change in spouse’s spirituality

Have you discussed this with him? With any facet within marriage, the partners need to be on the same page, and religion is a pretty significant thing to some people. If he is being opinionated and dogmatic about it and there is no healthy examinations of ideas going on, then there is trouble. You sound like there is not to be any resistance, as you are resenting it, and (maybe) not speaking out as you used to. Sera.

 
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