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Old 01-11-2011, 06:35 PM   #1
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is he still into me?

Seeing this guy for a few months...we have a great time together I've just noticed he's a bit less eager to make plans or text a lot when we're not together, etc. Today I asked him about it...gave him an "out" and said maybe we shouldn't see each other and he said he wants to keep seeing me, and asked when he could see me again. But then he suggested some days that he should know by now aren't good for me. We did figure out a day, but what's the deal...am I being paranoid? is he not into me and too wimpy to break up? Help!

 
Old 01-11-2011, 07:18 PM   #2
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Re: is he still into me?

I think that's really hard to say after just a few months. It could be he's "just not feeling it anymore," it could be he's settled into a more comfortable zone and doesn't feel the need to pursue you as ardently, it could be a lot of things. Just don't put too much pressure on it. Next time you have time in your schedule and you'd like to see him, call him up and see if he's willing to make plans. Give him at least a few days' notice, have a back up plan in case plan A doesn't interest him for some reason. Don't expect him to make all the effort, but you shouldn't be making all the effort either. Just let it flow naturally and see what happens. If he's not as into you as you feel he should be after a while, then you might think about breaking it off yourself. Plenty of fish in the sea.

 
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Old 01-14-2011, 08:51 AM   #3
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Re: is he still into me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larrylou'smom View Post
I think that's really hard to say after just a few months. It could be he's "just not feeling it anymore," it could be he's settled into a more comfortable zone and doesn't feel the need to pursue you as ardently, it could be a lot of things. Just don't put too much pressure on it. Next time you have time in your schedule and you'd like to see him, call him up and see if he's willing to make plans. Give him at least a few days' notice, have a back up plan in case plan A doesn't interest him for some reason. Don't expect him to make all the effort, but you shouldn't be making all the effort either. Just let it flow naturally and see what happens. If he's not as into you as you feel he should be after a while, then you might think about breaking it off yourself. Plenty of fish in the sea.

I wish LLM's last sentence were true. Oh, in fact, it is. There is a plenty of "fish" in the sea, but honestly most of it is not even worth fishing. if you see what I mean. Not that I am saying that in the past relationships were always glorious, but these days it seems people are becoming more and more self-centred and unpredictable. There is more fun than real passion and people want love with freedom rather than commitment. But what do I know?

Anyway, in general, I agree with LLM's advice, though. But I also tend to think that your relationship with this guy is somewhat shallow. If you don't find you have enough in common, things to share, things to plan ahead together, I don't think it will work out fine.

Last edited by pendulum; 01-14-2011 at 08:52 AM.

 
Old 01-14-2011, 09:26 AM   #4
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Re: is he still into me?

his on and off with you is looking suspicious as to wether he wants to be in a relationship or not. some people dont know what they want and say things that causes people like yourself to feel confused about whats going on. if it was me i would say ''whats going on are we together or not as i am confused and i need answers''.some people say , say nothing...but i think sometimes you have to ask because you want to know where you stand its only fair to know exactly where you stand. i am a 'all or nothing' sort of person but everyones different but dont let someone confuse you its not fair on you.

 
Old 01-22-2011, 05:13 PM   #5
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Re: is he still into me?

I say don't put all your eggs in this basket. Get out and do your own thing and don't wait around for him. He's giving you mixed messages, so let him do all the work until you're convinced of his commitment to you.

 
Old 01-22-2011, 06:03 PM   #6
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Re: is he still into me?

I think you should wait a few months, then you can understand.
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Old 01-23-2011, 06:43 AM   #7
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Re: is he still into me?

i think youl just have to give him space and see if he comes back to you Im in a similar situation where I think someone has lost interest in me aswell, it sucks but will just have to hope they come back

 
Old 01-25-2011, 04:13 PM   #8
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Re: is he still into me?

Thanks all...just to give an update...I took all of your good advice and gave him and myself some space. I was still friendly but just a bit more distant and not as available. I wasn't doing it to play games but to honestly give myself space to figure out if I wanted to be with someone who wasn't seeming enthused about me. Well so far it has worked...this week he's been pursuing me again and eager to make plans, etc. Feel like I have a better outlook now...hope I don't fall back into waiting and wondering what he'll do next. Do I maintain some space or jump right back in? Thanks all...

 
Old 01-25-2011, 09:02 PM   #9
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Re: is he still into me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by halfmoon View Post
Thanks all...just to give an update...I took all of your good advice and gave him and myself some space. I was still friendly but just a bit more distant and not as available. I wasn't doing it to play games but to honestly give myself space to figure out if I wanted to be with someone who wasn't seeming enthused about me. Well so far it has worked...this week he's been pursuing me again and eager to make plans, etc. Feel like I have a better outlook now...hope I don't fall back into waiting and wondering what he'll do next. Do I maintain some space or jump right back in? Thanks all...
I think you should always keep some space in a relationship. Even after marriage, if you're under each other's feet too much, you'll drive each other crazy and get sick of each other pretty quick. Your own life, work, friends, hobbies, should always be a priority to you. I'm not saying play games, or play hard to get, but it's never a good idea to build your whole life and world around your significant other. You should have your own thing going on.

 
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