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Old 01-14-2011, 01:47 AM   #1
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Husband won't have sex with me because I get high




My husband won't have sex with me when I get high. Actually, getting him to have sex with me at all lately is like pulling teeth. He gets high everyday as he smokes pot all day and then gets drunk on the weekends.

Tonight I found out that he had sex with himself. Part of me is very hurt. I am wondering what else? Then I found a receipt where he had taken all the money out of the bank and left my account in the hole.

I have vowed tonight to never do meth again even if he still won't have sex with me. I am so very sad....

I am wondering if he has found someone else and part of me says no, he couldn't have.

What do I do besides get it together? Be gentle, please. Sincerely, searchin

 
Old 01-14-2011, 02:42 AM   #2
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Re: Husband won't have sex with me because I get high

think you both need to quit pot, meth, drink to be honest. just because he doesnt want sex doesnt mean hes cheating. you say your upset because hes masturbation but you shouldnt be because its a natural thing, and hes touching his own body and he has every right to do so. you have no say on that im afraid. masturbating is much better than him cheating right? he probably doesnt want to have sex with you when there is tension in your relationship. you say you feel sad, he may feel sad aswell. you two either need to talk or spend some time away from eachother to figure out what you both want and the changes you both would like to make but we can only change ourselves not other people they have to want to do it aswell. from what i can see from what you have put so far is stop the drugs and drink both of you and talk and become close again. you say he won't have sex with you because YOU get high, but you said he smokes pot so hes getting high aswell so hes been a hypocrit for getting on at you. you said meth? that is a dangerous drug and it must be actually off putting for him because i suppose when your doing that your minds not even straight. correct me if i am wrong. pot is still bad for people but meth is much worse although his drink and drug taking would be off putting for you aswell.

the only advice for you at this moment is....both get clean. thats much more important than sex. did you mention he drained the money out of your account? im guessing for drugs/drink, if thats the case if he has stolen from you for whatever it is if it was me i would leave him as thats a sneaky thing to do and disrespectful. leave him. conerntrate on rebuilding your life as a clean healthy person who has a straight mind to find someone who is decent who wont steal from you or be a hypocrit etc etc....

Last edited by cryingforever; 01-14-2011 at 06:40 AM.

 
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Old 01-14-2011, 05:12 AM   #3
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Re: Husband won't have sex with me because I get high

Really sounds to me like the lack of sex is the least of your troubles...he stole all your money? Seriously...
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*I rest my case!*

 
Old 01-14-2011, 05:34 AM   #4
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Re: Husband won't have sex with me because I get high

I think that when trying to solve a problem, any problem, it's really important to get the the root of the issue if you hope to solve it for good. When you look at your life with him and how things are going, I think you can probably see many things that need to be corrected, the least of which is a lacking sex life. I'm thinking that since you are both addicts, unfortunately your enabling each other to continue using, and that's not good for either of you. It's pretty clear here that if you boil it down to the root cause of the sex issue and the stolen money issue, it's all due to the drugs.

First things first, both of you need to get clean so you can think clearly and be at full capacity when making choices and decisions in your daily lives. Once you have accomplished that, I guarantee the rest of it, including the sex problem, will fall into place. For your health and well-being, seriously, the drugs need to stop.

 
Old 01-14-2011, 11:10 PM   #5
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Re: Husband won't have sex with me because I get high

[QUOTE=Kszan;4661116]I think that when trying to solve a problem, any problem, it's really important to get the the root of the issue if you hope to solve it for good. When you look at your life with him and how things are going, I think you can probably see many things that need to be corrected, the least of which is a lacking sex life. I'm thinking that since you are both addicts, unfortunately your enabling each other to continue using, and that's not good for either of you. It's pretty clear here that if you boil it down to the root cause of the sex issue and the stolen money issue, it's all due to the drugs.
Sounds like ur getting some great responses. Stop all drugs and drink first. I've been n ur situation before myself. Only when I stopped all alcohol and pills (in my case) could I think clearly and make wise choices. Awesome jjob of honesty! Good for you! Because of that, I'm sure things will just continue to get better for you.

 
Old 01-17-2011, 04:50 AM   #6
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Re: Husband won't have sex with me because I get high

I think the real problem here is that both of you suffer from low self-esteem.
You guys don't love yourselves enough. Doing drugs (in most cases) is a clear sign of poor self-esteem. So, the first step is telling yourselves: "I am going to look after my body and my health. This is the only life I have." If this will lead to a better sexual life and save your marriage is still to be seen, but it is the first basic step you both have to take toward wholesomeness.

 
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