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Old 01-20-2011, 11:00 AM   #1
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Thinking about other guys! help

I have never really talked about what i was feelin so i decided that i would start on one of these things. I am currently engaged and have been with my fiance for 6 yrs. We have a beautiful daughter thats goin to be 3. He is a good guy but has his moments. I love him to death. We have our ups and downs but he has been trying to be the best guy he can. however, i have been thinking about another guy (my fiances good friend) and dreaming about being with him. Im not sure what that really means.. I dont no if its because i think i might be happy with the other guy.. not really sure if i should keep thinking about all thsi or if i should try to block it all out.. but i know im thinking about him for some reason.. the problem is that is i break it up.. i could be breaking the little family that i have up and i dont wanna do that.. i no the answers im going to get ill be do hat makes you happy and what not but i dont really know hat makes me happy or not happy.. any insights??

 
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Old 01-20-2011, 11:16 AM   #2
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Re: Thinking about other guys! help

well first off just because YOU'RE thinking of another guy, doesn't mean that other guy is thinking of you......or do you know that he is?
there is no guarantee that if you ended your current relationship that this guy would even be available or interested.....

 
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Old 01-20-2011, 11:24 AM   #3
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Re: Thinking about other guys! help

My advice would be to leave well alone. Not only would you be breaking up your family, but also the friendship between your fiance and his friend. You don't even know if things would work out with the friend, even if he is interested in you.

If things are not right between you and your fiance, and you can't work them out, then leave because the relationship isn't working anymore. Don't leave because of someone else.

 
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Old 01-20-2011, 11:34 AM   #4
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Re: Thinking about other guys! help

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Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
well first off just because YOU'RE thinking of another guy, doesn't mean that other guy is thinking of you......or do you know that he is?
there is no guarantee that if you ended your current relationship that this guy would even be available or interested.....
he is a loving guy and would do anything for me.. just thought i would mention that..

 
Old 01-20-2011, 11:37 AM   #5
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Re: Thinking about other guys! help

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Originally Posted by justdontno View Post
he is a loving guy and would do anything for me.. just thought i would mention that..

including betraying his best friend?
what kind of guy would do that?
surely not a good one.....

 
Old 01-20-2011, 11:39 AM   #6
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Re: Thinking about other guys! help

problem is that when its bad between us.. i can tell that its not meant to be.. like this hole time e have gotten used to each other rather than been truely in love.. not sure if that makes sense but the longer u are with someone the more u get used to each other and have feelings for each other.. and i know that i am young and am afraid that i might be making bad choices for my future if i stay together.. i mean things r going great now but later.. it could be worse again.. and the thought of falling in love and being with someone who treats me with respect and wants to hear what i think or feel makes me think that i shouldnt have let this get so far with my fiance.. idk love and confusion go hand in hand

 
Old 01-20-2011, 11:42 AM   #7
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Re: Thinking about other guys! help

well you probably shouldn't have let it get this far with your fiance, but what's done is done.....you can't return the baby for a refund.....
and there is no guarantee that you and this other guy will fall in love and live happily ever after either....
if it's not working with your fiance - end it.....
that is a seperate transaction.....
then if you want to move forward with another partner, you're free to, but don't expect anything.....

 
Old 01-20-2011, 11:53 AM   #8
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Re: Thinking about other guys! help

good point.. but wont say they were that close.. i knew this guy before my fiance but they met bec my fiance started a job 6 months agao and they work together so its a lil more conplicated then i explained i guess

 
Old 01-20-2011, 11:58 AM   #9
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Re: Thinking about other guys! help

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Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
well you probably shouldn't have let it get this far with your fiance, but what's done is done.....you can't return the baby for a refund.....
and there is no guarantee that you and this other guy will fall in love and live happily ever after either....
if it's not working with your fiance - end it.....
that is a seperate transaction.....
then if you want to move forward with another partner, you're free to, but don't expect anything.....
1. i would never get rid of little girl 2. i understand its too different things 3. every time i want to end it i think of my daughter and see the emotional stress she will under go trying to live at two different households.. i keep trying to ait it out until she is atleast old enough to tell me what is goin on at "dads" house 4. i think the other guy is a symbol of me maybe not being happy where i am or not happy about where this might end up.. but thanks for the comment... i guess im going to roll with the punches and try to stop thinking about the other guy

 
Old 01-20-2011, 12:05 PM   #10
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Re: Thinking about other guys! help

Quote:
Originally Posted by justdontno View Post
i think the other guy is a symbol of me maybe not being happy where i am or not happy about where this might end up.. but thanks for the comment... i guess im going to roll with the punches and try to stop thinking about the other guy
very insightful on your part.....i think you might be right.....
it's NOT the other guy......it's the idea of getting AWAY from the current guy that makes this other guy look better than he probably is......

 
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Old 01-21-2011, 04:36 PM   #11
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Re: Thinking about other guys! help

you got some serious thinking to do as this is your life and if it doesnt feel right then you need to think deep and make some decisions. whatever you do make sure its right for you but dont cheat no matter what happens its not a nice thing, not saying you would but i have seen many people unhappy with there partners, find it hard to break away and seek comfort in other people. always let the partner go if your not happy. maybe its just a case of you just arent ready to settle down with him. maybe because your young you want to spread your wings a little and live abit but as a mother you obviously will be careful how you go about things.

 
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