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Old 01-23-2011, 12:29 PM   #1
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Angry My Gf wants to date other ppl....

Me and my gf have been together for 3 years and we had up and downs like every other relationship. Like two months ago she told me that she wanted to date other ppl. I got very upset because i never thought she would do this to me. Well in December i discovered that one of her GOOD FRIENDS tryied to kiss her and she was still trying to deny it. She then told me that she hanged out with him because he we had a lot in common. Now in New Years i told her if she wanted to come with me, but she told me that she was going with her best friend, which is a girl, but later i found out that she went with him. Three days later i went with her to some place to keep her company and she left her phone there. I was curious so i look and found that she was texting this same guy and calling him Babe and baby throughout. I saw in the date that this had been happening since mid Dec. I confronted her about this and told me it ment nothing, that she calls everyone babe. I know her better than that i know she doesnt. i asked her if she liked him and she said yea. That really made me depressed. Recently we talked and i aske her again about this guy, and now she said that he asked her out. she told me that she told him that she needed time. What kills me is that eventually she is gonna go out with him and that she lied to me about the same guy many times. She said that she doesnt want to lose me and wants to come back to me later on and marry me but right now she has to do this. Idk what to do. i was her first in everything and now she want someone else. What is going through my mind is that she choose him over me... any advice.

 
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Old 01-23-2011, 12:54 PM   #2
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Re: My Gf wants to date other ppl....

Unfortunately, since she was honest and told you she was going to date other people there's not much you can do. Except to stop making yourself available to her if you can't stand the thought of her dating other guys. You really have no right to go through her phone if you two are no longer a couple. Even though in your mind you still are, in her mind you are not.

It's sad and it hurts, but you can't make her stop seeing other guys if she wants to and if she told you she was. You can wait around for her (not recommended) or you can accept it and in time you can think about dating someone else. And if it hurts too much to see evidence she is dating other guys you might have to stop hanging out with her.

Last edited by CadenceA; 01-23-2011 at 03:30 PM.

 
Old 01-23-2011, 02:40 PM   #3
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Re: My Gf wants to date other ppl....

I think you should cut her loose. It's clear she doesn't just want to "see other people," she wants to date this other guy. It's ridiculous for her to expect you to wait around for her to come back to you while she does her thing with this guy, though. I don't think that's really fair of her to expect you to do that. If going with him is what she has to do now, then losing you is just a risk she's going to have to take. Three years is a long time for her to decide she wants to see what else is out there but still hang onto you. I think you need to start wrapping your mind around the fact that she's emotionally left the relationship and you need to let her go, mourn the relationship, let it go and move past it and get on with your life. I think you'll only be hurting yourself more if you let her play you, back and forth, you and him, you and him. You know she's lied to you about seeing this guy, and you don't want to share her. It would hurt too much to share her. For your own sanity, it would be wise to let her go with dignity, good grace, and wishing her well as she gets on with her life and you get on with yours.

 
Old 01-23-2011, 05:09 PM   #4
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Re: My Gf wants to date other ppl....

I think your relationship is over. And honestly, you don't have much of a choice in this. If you hang around and wait for her while she is out with another man, you won't win her back. Even if she moves on from him, I can't see her coming back to you with that history.

It may be fake bravado, but I'd strongly suggest you tell her you're sorry, tell her you love her but tell her that you cannot be in a relationship she's not in and wish her luck with this new man. Then take your time being sad and move on.

 
Old 01-23-2011, 05:57 PM   #5
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Re: My Gf wants to date other ppl....

As hard as it is to accept, you can't make someone love you.
If she doesn't love you, or has fallen out of love with you, let her go.
Grieve if you have to, but don't waste any time pursuing her or trying to change her mind.
If her feelings for you have changed, there is nothing you can do to fix this.
Just let her go, and take care of yourself.
Someday, when you're ready, you'll find someone else.

 
Old 01-23-2011, 06:09 PM   #6
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Re: My Gf wants to date other ppl....

sorry to say but yeah shes moving on. but whatever you do dont wait around for her to pick you up and drop you whenever she feels like it because thats not fair on you or your feelings and she wont be bothered so long as its not her getting hurt. put yourself first. move on from her.

 
Old 01-24-2011, 12:15 AM   #7
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Re: My Gf wants to date other ppl....

She wants to have her cake and eat it. You're her back-up plan in case it doesn't work out with the other guy. Let her go, you deserve better than that.

 
Old 01-24-2011, 05:03 PM   #8
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Re: My Gf wants to date other ppl....

It's over. I think she is trying to keep you on the hook in case it doesnt work out with this guy. Don't be that guy. Cut her loose while you still have your pride. I know it hurts, but it will hurt more if you let it go on any longer.

 
Old 01-25-2011, 08:23 AM   #9
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Re: My Gf wants to date other ppl....

if she wants to date other people, she's not your girlfriend anymore.....

 
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Old 01-26-2011, 08:14 AM   #10
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Re: My Gf wants to date other ppl....

And from a guy's perspective. . . . who's been in the same shoes you're in at the moment. . . . . . . for god sake, stop being co-dependent upon some girl just because you have a past. Yes, you'll go through the stages of grief at the loss of this relationship, but you will only appear weak if you are timid or too willing to let her control the whole show. She will make her choices and you will need to let her, but cut her loose first.

I waited for 6 freakin' months while I attempted to get my [then] wife back, letting her dictate things, . . . and nothing came of it but me being totally defeated by her, emotionally and judiciously. Don't do that.

Let me be clear here! . . . . . . . No GOOD relationship, that is lasting, will have this kind of bull---- involved with it. IF she cared about you above anyone else, she would never consider another!!! That is the cold hard truth.

I'm sorry if my post is strong. But I feel incredibly strong about this topic.
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Old 01-26-2011, 10:54 AM   #11
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Re: My Gf wants to date other ppl....

And from a another guy's perspective...let me put my 2 cents as well. First of all, I am sorry that you are going thru this. After three years, this is really unexpected from someone who you are in love with and planning to stay with long-term. However, this is not a way to get threated by someone whom you gave your heart too. She's handling your heart in an irresponsible way. Unfortunately, she wants to get off the bus. It's hard to accept it but right now you're emotionally hurt, you need to begin the healing process. There are other girls out there that are far better than what you had. Move on, it's time to finish that chapter and begin writing a new one once you are ready.

Last edited by rreyes99; 01-26-2011 at 10:56 AM.

 
Old 01-26-2011, 08:24 PM   #12
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Re: My Gf wants to date other ppl....

I would cut it and not even talk to her any more. If she has the nerve to ask you to wait it out while she fools around with another guy she really is not worth your time in your life. It is always eaiser siad than done.

 
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