Re: 23 years later and still can't
I understand still having feelings for someone from long ago, totally. That's one reason why I never married. I didn't want to settle, and I never met anyone who made me feel the way a long-ago ex made me feel. For me, that was the better choice. Even though I HATE being alone, being alone by myself is better than being with someone I don't really feel for just so I can say I have someone, and be alone in an unsatisfying relationship.
But you siad you "were" in love with your wife. Perhaps you should focus on what you think might have made that change. Is this other woman really part of the equation between you and your wife, or something you're just using to fill the missing romance with your wife? Think it through, what you really want, what you can realistically have, and how you can reconcile the two. Good luck.