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Old 02-10-2011, 03:31 PM   #1
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Having a hard time today

I'm having a rough day I guess. Why is it when you break up with someone you only remember the good things? I miss him a little plus I feel like I stomped on his heart and feel terrible. Just wondering if this is normal I guess. I'm feeling so down when I should be feeling free.

 
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Old 02-10-2011, 04:05 PM   #2
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Re: Having a hard time today

It's just your first day. You are feeling sad and guilty now but I am betting that as each day passes you will feel more and more free. I'm sure you broke up with your boyfriend with good reason. You are uncomfortable in this moment, but it will get better.

 
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Old 02-10-2011, 06:10 PM   #3
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Re: Having a hard time today

You shouldn't expect instant happiness. No one gets over anything that quickly. Even when I wanted to break up there's still that little bit of sadness. But you did the right thing for the right reasons.

Why don't you think about how much he manipulated you and made up stories to try to make you feel guilty, yet he felt no guilt about doing these terrible things? Do you think he felt bad when he was doing all of that? Of course not! So you can give yourself a break and just give it some time.

Whatever you do, don't go back because you think this sadness means you should get back together. It definitely does not.

Last edited by CadenceA; 02-10-2011 at 06:10 PM.

 
Old 02-11-2011, 03:10 AM   #4
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Re: Having a hard time today

You've just lost a part of your life. You're kind of in mourning for the loss of the good times, however stay strong and remember that the part of your life that is now gone was not good. It did not make you happy. The bad outweighed the good or you would not have left. You don't have to put up with the abuse and manipulation any more.

Stay strong. Whenever you think of the good times, remind yourself of all the bad. It will get better.

 
Old 02-11-2011, 11:58 AM   #5
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Re: Having a hard time today

I've been exactly where you are now. Even though I was the one to break up I felt like I had lost my best friend. Just hang in there, it does get better.

 
Old 02-11-2011, 01:02 PM   #6
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Re: Having a hard time today

It's hormones that make you miss the good times. The oxytocin that is created by the brain in a female during bonding takes a long time to go away. You are going through withdrawal from it, and you will have times where you will feel okay with your decision, and times where you feel totally depressed and miss the good times.

Just hang on to the bad times, force yourself to remember times that were not good, things he did, etc. - even write them down on paper if you need to so you can look at them. Read them to yourself when you're feeling depressed and missing the good times.

 
Old 02-11-2011, 03:14 PM   #7
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Re: Having a hard time today

Punky, he had it coming after the way he has treated you. Until he learns to quit being a posessive clingy psychopath, this will continue to happen to him and that's not your problem. Its his problem to fix. Wash your hands of the situation and realize that you were in the right and you handled it the only way it could be handled I because of him and his issues.

 
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