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Old 02-11-2011, 01:48 PM   #1
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I want so badly to change

Hi,

I have an obsession with my hair, have bipolar and I have had strained and not such great relationships with hairstylists. I met a new hairstylist today for a consultation who is really nice and I really want to have a good relationship with her. I am getting my hair done on the 22nd and she suggested I bring some photos of what I want which I will so there's no miscommunication or confusion. I tend to think all in black and white about my hair and my therapist and I are working on fixing these cognitive distortions, like it is not such a big deal if I don't love it, it's not the end of the world. I don't have to go crazy because it isn't perfect. I really want things to work out well with this stylist and I think that means, lowering my expectations for things to not be perfect, looking at pictures, not getting upset if I don't get it done exactly the way I want, and coming in for maintainance visits so it doesn't get out of hand.

What else do you think I could do so this relationship works?
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Old 02-11-2011, 02:06 PM   #2
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Re: I want so badly to change

maybe ask your new hairstylist for her opinion on what she thinks would look best on you based on your shape of your face, etc.....
they like being asked for their input!

 
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Old 02-11-2011, 02:58 PM   #3
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Re: I want so badly to change

Hmmm, in short I'd give you two pieces of advice:

1. You need to have more trust in other people; believe that the world is not conspiring against you all the time, that you are being taken care of.

2. You need to improve your sense of humour: accept the imperfections of life and smile at them; perfection is not necessarily beauty.

 
Old 02-11-2011, 03:09 PM   #4
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Re: I want so badly to change

Thank you both so much for the replies.

I will try trusting her and seeing what she thinks looks good. I will try to let myself be taken care of and try to let go of the control and let her take care of me when I go to get my hair done. Definitely humor is important, and I will try to be more lighthearted about things.

Thanks.
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I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
-White Flag, Dido

 
Old 02-11-2011, 03:28 PM   #5
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Re: I want so badly to change

Keep in mind that you have to have the same texture and type of hair as the girl in the picture or else it won't look the same. Also, a lot has to do with what kind of products are used in your hair to smooth it out so it lays correctly. If you don't have the ability to style at home with a round brush while blowdrying, it also makes it more difficult to copy what they did at the salon. In other words, don't blame the stylist if it doesn't look right when you try to do it at home cause, since we don't have arms behind our head, we can't fix it as easily as someone standing behind you and blowdrying it for you the right way.

 
Old 02-11-2011, 03:58 PM   #6
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Re: I want so badly to change

Thanks, good points!
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I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
-White Flag, Dido

 
Old 02-11-2011, 10:41 PM   #7
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Re: I want so badly to change

Hi Amy,

I would share your concerns with her in advance. I am sure if you tell her that your have issues with your hair which you are working hard to resolve, the stylist will go out of her way to help you in any way she can.

She wants you to be happy so I would trust her to do her best. I also like the idea of having her suggest some styles that she thinks would work with your particular hair type, texture, etc.

Bring your positive attitude with you. Let yourself feel beautiful, and therefore look beautiful. Have fun with it, and prepare to overcome a big hurdle in your therapy. I am proud of you already!

And do come back and tell us all about it, I bet it will be a great story.

 
Old 02-12-2011, 06:26 AM   #8
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Re: I want so badly to change

Thanks. I'm not really sure how to share my concerns, what to say. I'm not comfortable saying that I obsess about my hair because that will probably freak her out. She already knows that sometimes I have trouble with communication skills and I change my mind sometimes too.

I do trust her, its just that part of the issue with my hair is control and thats why its hard for me to completely trust her. I feel like I have to let go of my being in control but that is REALLY hard for me to do.

Thanks everyone.
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I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
-White Flag, Dido

 
Old 02-12-2011, 06:36 AM   #9
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Re: I want so badly to change

Have you ever had a perfect cut/style?

I'm wondering if the stylist is shooting for the impossible here.

I guess I'm lucky my hair grows so fast it doesn't matter.

 
Old 02-12-2011, 10:04 AM   #10
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Re: I want so badly to change

I have had cuts and styles I have been happy with but not often. I don't think its impossible, but I am difficult to please. I think if I try to not think in a distorted manner and relax a little, things may work out.

Thanks.
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I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
-White Flag, Dido

 
Old 02-15-2011, 10:10 PM   #11
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Cool update, progress!

Hi, I just wanted to give an update.

I decided to go to a different stylist, someone who I had seen awhile ago, last year. I had only seen them once because I didn't know if I could get to them with the fact that I need someone to drive me, but now I am confident that someone can drive me, so I decided to go back. I am friends with a friend of this stylist so I know they are a good person, and not in it for the money. I decided to let them trim my hair tonight and it turned out awesome!

I talked to them about getting my hair colored/highlighted and I felt like I had a better connection with them than the other stylist who I had scheduled with. I felt like we were seeing more "eye to eye" and that I would end up being happier so I decided to book an appointment with them for the color/highlight next Tuesday and cancel the appointment with the other stylist. I think it is a great sign that I really like my haircut! This person really seems to listen and we communicate well, and I am definitely hopeful.

We'll see what happens but I am feeling more optimistic and excited in a positive way!

Thanks for all the support.
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I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
-White Flag, Dido

Last edited by Amyb76; 02-15-2011 at 10:23 PM.

 
Old 02-16-2011, 06:06 AM   #12
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Re: I want so badly to change

Amy,
That is great news and thank you for keeping us updated on your progress.

A positive outlook is the first step into anything new, and it sounds like you have that part down.

Please report back to share the experience with the color. Have a great day!

 
Old 02-16-2011, 08:09 AM   #13
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Re: I want so badly to change

Wow, you really are obsessed with your hair, huh? I don't even brush my hair the majority of the time, so I'm at the other end of the spectrum. Glad you feel better.

 
Old 02-22-2011, 07:33 PM   #14
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Cool Re: I want so badly to change

I just wanted to update this thread and let everyone know that I got my hair done and it turned out awesome! I really love it! I am very happy that I communicated well with the stylist and got the end result that I desired. I think I will definitely be going to this stylist for awhile. I haven't been this happy with my hair in a year or so.
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I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
-White Flag, Dido

 
Old 02-23-2011, 06:30 AM   #15
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Re: I want so badly to change

great news! sometimes we spend so much time and energy worrying about something and we don't need to!
I'm so happy you're happy with your hair!

 
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