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Old 02-12-2011, 10:19 PM   #1
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Unhappy hurt

Recently, I moved and have switched a lot of professional relationships like doctors, dentists, hairstylist, etc. to the locale where I live because it makes more sense.

I have a lot of medical needs so I thought it would make sense to switch doctors to the town where I live. Sometimes I find myself in the need of a last minute doctor's visit and that's hard when my old doc wasn't nearby. So I called the old doc and just wanted to say goodbye to her, just wanted 5 mins on the phone to say "thanks for all that you have done, I'll miss you, it was great working with you and please forward my medical records" and she wouldn't even return my phone call within the week! I didn't ask to speak with her immediately, just within a week. She wouldn't return my phone call when I said it was a private matter that I needed to discuss with her, they said I must come in for an office visit. I feel very hurt and upset. I had known her for some time, a couple of years, and built up a very nice rapport and relationship with her and her colleagues and staff. I am shocked that she wouldn't return my phone call and so is one of my family members. I didn't abuse trying to reach her, and I valued my relationship with her. I am debating calling the office manager and politely explaining to him my frustration. I finally wrote a very calm, polite letter which this family member described as beautiful to this doctor. When I called the doctor's office, they seem surprised that I wanted the doctor to read it when I marked clearly on the letter, Confidential and Private so the doctor would be the only one to read it. The letter was simply stating that since I couldn't reach her on the phone, I was leaving her practice, thank you for all you have done and please forward my medical records. Not a hint of anger or anything.

I feel ambivalent about contacting the office manager saying that I didn't get to contact her on the phone. I am hurt and I want someone to know that. I feel that I had a right to speak to her and that right was violated. On the other hand I want to leave things on good terms with her in case I want to go back to her for another opinion for something in the future.

What do you all think?

Thanks.
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Old 02-13-2011, 09:30 AM   #2
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Re: hurt

Personally, my experience tells me that the staff is all about how they can bill you, and if they can't bill you somehow, they're not interested. Also, nothing 'personal and confidential' is gonna get by them. They are there to filter that stuff. If it was truly personal and confidential to her, then you'd have her home address.

You can't change it now, but I'd have suggested sending a 'thank you' card, written in a personal tone, and forget trying to phone her. They'd have given her that for sure, and she'd know how you felt.

Could you still do that?

 
Old 02-13-2011, 11:44 AM   #3
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Re: hurt

Doctors are extremely busy, and it sounds like she was a good doctor to you.
I'd send a card, and leave it at that.

 
Old 02-13-2011, 02:52 PM   #4
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Re: hurt

You're worried about your doctor and your hairdresser. Are these people extremely important in your life? I ask because I have a doctor that I saw for many years and also the same lady cut my hair for about 10 years, and when I moved it didn't really affect me that much. I wonder if these people are more to you than just professionals whom you see for services.

 
Old 02-13-2011, 05:46 PM   #5
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Re: hurt

If I understand what you are saying, you only told the office people you had a personal issue you wanted to discuss with her and you wanted a return call within a week? If that's the case, no I am not surprised she did not return the call. My guess is that they were expecting a very negative call, especially if you had already changed doctors. Possibly even a threat of a lawsuit of some kind. Since you have moved and changed doctors, I wouldn't worry about it. I think sending the card was the right way to go to begin with.

 
Old 02-13-2011, 05:57 PM   #6
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Re: hurt

If you still need your medical records, you're most likely going to need to fill out a form at the office to release the records to the new doctor. Or they can fax the form to you. You also will most likely have to pay for the copies. Every time I've asked for copies of my records, they have always charged me. Lame? Yes, totally. But whatever.

Also, the thing about her not returning your call, I think it's because doctors need to maintain a professional relationship with their patients and it's possible she didn't want to appear like she was not treating your relationship professionally. It's really good that you feel like you had a good rapport with her because that's so important to have with a doctor. That means she was a really good doctor. But I wouldn't allow the fact that she didn't call back to sour your opinion of her. When you think about how many people doctors need to see and the various ailments people come into the office with, it's necessary for these doctors to keep their emotions and feelings in check and not get too personally involved. If they become too attached to their patients, it becomes a lot harder to treat them with a clear mind if they allow their personal feelings to get in the way. That's also why therapists have to maintain a respectable distance from their patients. If they didn't do this, they would carry that burden of all they see day in and day out (all of the sad things that would make us regular people get really sad) and it would drive them crazy. So, that's why I think she didn't call you back.

 
Old 02-14-2011, 10:37 AM   #7
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Re: hurt

My Grandmother used to have a book at her house, Don't Sweat The Small Stuff. You should maybe look into it.

 
Old 02-15-2011, 10:21 PM   #8
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update

Well I decided that I did want "closure" to this issue and to figure out if the doc ever got my message, so I decided to call the office manager and figure out what went on. There was some miscommunication. The office manager said that the doctor got the message that a return phone call was not necessary which was completely inaccurate. That is the reason that the doctor did not return my phone call. Well as irritating as that is, it is in some ways, nice to have an explanation. It just seems completely different than what I was told before which was that I would have to come in for an office visit to talk to her. I got two totally different messages,

Anyways, I actually DID get a phone call from the doctor finally tonight, I was just unable to take it at the time because I was busy when she called but it was very nice that she returned my call.

Just frustrating to have gone through all these hoops with her office! It's enough to drive anyone crazy but I am glad to have some clarification.

Thanks for all the support.
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I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
-White Flag, Dido

Last edited by Amyb76; 02-15-2011 at 10:22 PM.

 
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