It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-23-2011, 09:52 AM   #1
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: IN
Posts: 1
porterct HB User
Ex-boyfriends

Hello everyone,

My ex-girlfriend has had 5 other boyfriends before me and she is my first. She's 19 and I'm 20. She used to talk about her ex-boyfriends a little bit more frequently than I would have liked. She will bring them up in everyday conversation sometimes and even tho she's saying it innocently i just never felt comfortable hearing about them so often. She's was friends with almost all of them except for one of her really bad ones. But she even brings him up in conversation sometimes tho. She will tell me when she see's him on the road, or what he's been up to because she still communicates with his mom and after awhile I just didn't want to hear about him anymore.

One time at the beginning of our relationship she said that we were going to a festival and that one of her ex-boyfriends would be there. Although I felt a little uncomfortable I went with her anyway. It was slightly awkward for me because I felt like the third wheel to their conversations. and at the end of the night when we were back home she told me how she remembered how much she loved his blue eyes and made a comment on his body. That just made me extremely uncomfortable and I was kind of shocked by her saying that.

Sometimes when talking with other friends in my presence she would talk about another ex-boyfriend and say how hard she fell for him and that he was so smooth. She told me that that the way he drove his car was orgasmic and that the reason why they broke up was because he just wanted to have sex all the time.

Since she said all that I would get uncomfortable if she wanted to hang out with her ex-boyfriends with usually along with other guy friends. She had a lot of male friends and I was completely fine with that but the thought of your girlfriend hanging out with ex-boyfriends is an uneasy feeling on it's own without her saying all that about them.

Also she would always point out to me whenever she saw a guy who she thought was hot and normally that wouldn't bother me but she would never stroke my ego after saying it and she said it, again, a little more often than I would have liked. I'm a thinner guy and have trouble keeping on weight. I weighed a lot more when I had first met her but after awhile started to lose some and one day she told me that my attractiveness level lowered and that she didn't want to date a skinny fish. She said that she sees tons of good looking guys at her place of work and that she could get any one of them. She apologized that night for saying that but those words stuck with me the entire relationship and made me a little insecure lowered my self esteem .

So later in the relationship every time she would talk about how cute she thought another guy was or if she would want to hang out with ex-boyfriends or if she would bring them up in conversation I would get irritated but would never show it.

I admit I should have told her how I felt earlier on but I let it bottle up inside me I told her how I felt a little bit but after a while she just said that she didn't want to feel like she had to watch what she says around me or try to censor herself. She said that her ex-boyfriends are just friends now and I shouldn't feel insecure if she hangs out with them and as for talking about other guys she said that her girlfriends do that to their boyfriends all the time and their boyfriends just laugh it off. But I used to laugh it off too until she she said some hurtful things and also just how she went about saying it made me insecure.

There is a little more to the story but she had told me that she didn't want an insecure boyfriend but I never really felt insecure until everything started to pile up. She apologized for all those things but she said that i just couldn't let it go and I admit that it was hard for me to because all those words just stuck with me... So I guess I'm just wondering was her behavior acceptable? We just recently broke up and that was one of my biggest issues in the relationship. The day we broke up she had told me that she hung out with her ex and some other friends and that him and some of his buddies (who are also her friends) are renting a house together and was wondering if she would like to move in. her parents are moving so she needs a place to stay. But that just irritated and hurt me more to hear that. since we recently broke up i'm a little depressed and I'm just wondering If i could have been more tolerant and open or am I right in feeling the way that I do after all that was said?

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 02-23-2011, 09:57 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
rosequartz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 10,223
rosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB Userrosequartz HB User
Re: Ex-boyfriends

her behavior would not be acceptable to me if I were her boyfriend....
don't second guess yourself....your gut instinct is spot on....
this girl loves the attention she gets from men.....
she's just not "relationship material"
move on.....there is someone else out there who won't rub her past relationships in your face.
you deserve better.

 
Old 02-23-2011, 10:10 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
pendulum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Florianópolis, Brazil
Posts: 3,716
pendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB Userpendulum HB User
Re: Ex-boyfriends

Wow, I was quite relieved to read that you broke up with her. I was already feeling annoyed at her behavior long before the end of your post.

Don't waste your time remembering how hurtful she could be.

Stay grateful for having got rid of her.

 
Old 02-23-2011, 11:03 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Kszan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,835
Kszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB User
Re: Ex-boyfriends

You totally did the right thing. And you were not being insecure, you were being disrespected-repeatedly by her, talking about how "hot" other guys are and bragging about all of her ex's. She sounds totally immature and extremely annoying too, frankly I don't know how you managed to put up with her as long as you did! Apprently the only way she feels validated is by seeking attention from as many guys as possible. Therefore she is not relationship material. If anyone is insecure its her for constantly needing guys to give her a the time of day.

Be glad you got rid of her! That kind of behavior is unacceptable in a loving relationship. Don't let the next girl disrespect you like that. If you're dating a new girl and she does that to you, tell her straight up that you're not going to stay with her if she keeps disrespecting you like that.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
ex wont let me be a part of daughter's life like i want uscarolina Relationship Health 4 08-20-2009 09:19 AM
how wrong am i in this situation??? or is ex still trying to contol??? lindsjean Relationship Health 6 04-13-2009 09:00 AM
BF's EX wants 2 see his son who's not hers! dryNscaly Relationship Health 23 01-27-2009 01:29 PM
Mutual friend of my ex contacts my ex's friend....insight welcome sgtcalypso Relationship Health 1 09-26-2007 07:03 AM
My Girlfriend hates my Ex Hammer6401 Relationship Health 48 03-12-2007 04:42 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (260), rosequartz (245), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (155), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (87), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1136), MSJayhawk (941), Apollo123 (856), janewhite1 (823), Titchou (770), Gabriel (743), ladybud (667), sammy64 (666), midwest1 (655), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:15 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.com™
Copyright and Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.com™ All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!