Why do men do this??? The guy I was seeing seemed really into me the last time we hungout, he says he will text me the next day but doesnt so i dont text him.....3 days later...still no text so I send him a text...he texts me back straight away but more or less with one word answers so I dont send him anymore. Anyway 4 more days go by and nothing! Weve been meeting each other for a few months now in a sexual relationship and I used to regulaly hear from him everyday. Why do men act hot then blow cold all of a sudden?
marina, I'm hardly a relationship expert, but it seems to me that it's pretty simple. Men like to have sex, and most of them don't connect sex with love and emotional intimacy the way women do. Men can have sex with women they don't even like being around. I've been on these boards a long time and heard all kinds of stories just like this one. I've even heard men come right out with the truth and say he just wasn't that into her, that he just wanted sex and the convenience of having someone there whe he wanted someone, but if she ever stopped calling, he wouldn't bother to keep the "relationship" going because it just didn't mean that much to him. You have noticed that you're doing all the heavy lifting, all the work in this "relationship" all of a sudden? He only returns your text, and can't be bothered to call or text you anymore? He's moved on and didn't think he needed to trouble himself to let you know.
the cold hard ugly truth is that he's just not that into you. He enjoys getting together and having sex with you because he's a man and they enjoy having sex with just about anything. They aren't constantly on the search for "the one" like most women are. They approach relationships in a totally different way. Most women go into every relationship with their A game, trying to make it work and seeing if it will lead anywhere special. Most men enter into all kinds of relationships knowing from the start that it's mostly physical, and a temporary thing. It's only when they fall in love, hard and for real, that the woman suddenly becomes a human being who they want to call, talk to, spend time with, not just for sex, whose calls they return, who they care about disappointing.
This guy's just not that into you. If you want more than a temporary bed buddy, stop wasting your time with this guy and look elsewhere.
That's funny Larrylousmom...I was just going to say also "he's just not that into you". I think that it usually takes a few months to realize if you like someone or not. Plus for some guys it's at about that point that the thrill is gone. Just be glad it was only a few months and he wasn't telling you that he loved you and then left.
thanks for all the good replys, so true that men will have sex with just about anything hahaha I really laughed when I read that but thats what their like!!
Do you think they actually realise that when they have sex with you then dont bother to even get back in touch that it upsets us? probly not...as once theyv been satisfied thats them done till they feel the need to do it again....
Yes I think it is highly likely that he is after someone else now as the chase has now ended on his part because "hes already had me a few times" its pathetic really. It just makes me angry that I have to wait for him to initiate contact with me first because if I contact him hell just think Im chasing him and he can do what he wants as usual, so Im not going to and by the time he contacts me (if he ever does again?) I might of already moved on by then...
Do you think they actually realise that when they have sex with you then dont bother to even get back in touch that it upsets us?
Oh, I think most of them do, I mean how can they not know? They just don't care. That's why they disappear instead of just telling you "it was fun, but I'm done and have moved on." They don't want to deal with the messy, uncomfortable "I don't think we should see each other anymore" moment, they don't want to feel like the bad guy. Most of them don't get that disappearing without a word is what makes them the bad guy, but no, they don't really care. I've known a lot of men who are kinder and more fair to strangers on the street or co-workers they barely know than they are to the woman they're currently sleeping with if they know it's just temporary for them. It just doesn't matter that much to most of them.
Originally Posted by marinadiamonds
It just makes me angry that I have to wait for him to initiate contact with me first because if I contact him hell just think Im chasing him and he can do what he wants as usual, so Im not going to and by the time he contacts me (if he ever does again?) I might of already moved on by then...
I think it's a good plan to just stop contacting him. If it makes you mad to have to contact him, then just don't. Go ahead and move on. Like Rose said, he'll contact you in a few months when he's bored and horny, IF he ever contacts you at all. Don't be home.
He doesn't love you, certainly has no respect for you. What you're feeling probably hasn't even crossed his mind. He's had enough, for now, and probably doesn't think he owes you an explaination or a good-bye. It's so much easier to just walk away without having to deal with the consequences.
He's shown his true colours and you're better off without him. Don't let him come crawling back when he feels like using you again.
Update - well i know the reason behind it now, he has been seeing someone else. I will just have to move on, it feels better knowing though rather than the wondering and not knowing. When they say they dont want to be in a relationship its so that they can keep their options open and just use you till the next new exciting thing comes along.