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Old 02-27-2011, 12:34 AM   #1
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Unhappy i dont kno what to do

I'm currently in a relationship and we've been having a lot of problems lately. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months and were thinking about getting engaged. Were both Muslims and our parents agree, but now i'm not sure what to do. our relationship was amazing in the first 3months he always got me flowers, clothes, teddy bears, n different gifts. In the he also decided to take 2 more college classes so he can finish faster to support us, also he loves working out and he canceled his gym membership to save money. We both are bipolar and sometimes we butt heads but we've always gotten over it. Currently i think i might be depressed, i sleep at least till 5pm and im up all night crying while he sleeps. I've also lost 5 pounds cause i eat only like once a day. He doesnt seam to do all the cute things he used to do for me, he only does things if i ask him. He used to not be like this, i don't know if its me or if he is just becoming distant, but im really taking it hard. can somebody please give me some advice on if i should break it off with him or not?!?!?
thanks

 
Old 02-27-2011, 01:26 AM   #2
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Re: i dont kno what to do

To a large extent, it's normal for any relationship to lose some of its intensity after a certain period of time. So I wouldn't be telling you to break it up with him because of this, and never before having conversations with him. Dialogue is very important, so you can check what is really going on or if it is not only on your mind.

Why do you think you are depressed? Because you have noticed that he is different? It is very important for you to address the real causes of your depression and treat it, because it can have a further effect on the relationship.

I don't know how relevant the fact that you are Muslims is. Reading your post gave me the impression that you live together or have a sexual intimacy. Is that ok for Muslims before marriage? I am not trying to sound moralistic here, just wondering about it.

Moreover I really hope that you are not with this guy just because you share the same faith. And I also hope that your faith won't prevent you from breaking up with him as if it were sinful, if you make up your mind that is the best thing to do.

 
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Old 02-27-2011, 08:44 AM   #3
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Re: i dont kno what to do

i would encourage you to talk to him!
are you both on medication for your bi-polar? is it fairly well controlled?
you might want to try some couples counselling before you get married to work out your concerns to see if you really want to go thru with it. There is no rush, you've only known him 6 months. If he's acting like the honeymoon is over already, what's he gonna be like in a couple years? you're talking about spending the rest of your life together.....you better be sure!
take your time, that will give you a chance to get to know him better and see if he's someone who can make you happy forever....not just the first 3 months.

 
Old 02-28-2011, 07:03 AM   #4
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Re: i dont kno what to do

Those first months are known as the honeymoon period, and they generally don't last. What you are seeing now is the real person, regardless of his bipolar. This is a taste of your future together and it's bringing you down.

Concentrate on getting yourself healthy before you make any major decisions, especially on getting married.

 
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